That ‘Certain Person’

Gratitude List 18/04/2018

Life isn’t always singing and dancing. Even if an obstacle doesn’t come your own way, there’s always a chance one will be met by a friend, colleague or loved one. For some unknown reason, these moments can be very difficult when it involves that ‘certain person’. That person we spent most of our time with. That person we love like no other. Today, I am very grateful for the tools I have acquired through recovery that allow me to be there and be as supportive as I can be.

Be present and actually listen. In the past, this simple but vital step was often very weak in effort. I was often preoccupied in self. Often thinking about what I want to say or questioning their decision making.

Put away my distractions. I still need to tell myself to put my phone down and turn off the TV. How disheartening it must be for someone sharing their difficulties to see me tapping on my phone or glancing at the TV.

Consideration and tolerance. I needed to learn about these strengths of character and when I did I quickly realised how rubbish I was at both of them. I’m so grateful I now have a better understanding. This person may be struggling and as a result feeling angry, frustrated and upset. The last thing they need is an inconsiderate, intolerant response from me.

Remain calm and composed. There’s no point escalating matters by getting frustrated myself. Also, my serenity can often be contagious.

Close my eyes, breathe and say a little prayer. The serenity to accept what I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference. This has taken me a lot of practice but the results are beginning to show. Growing resentments and frustration can be squashed!

And most importantly, let go.

Author: gratitude4gratitude

A relative newbie to gratitude. Starting each day with a gratitude list sets me up for the day. This small effort starts a domino effect of positive action and subsequent serenity.

4 thoughts on “That ‘Certain Person’”

  1. The distraction is my big no-no. I always have my phone with me and sometimes I feel like I can multi-task: listening to someone AND checking my phone. And while, from my viewpoint, I actually CAN do this (although I’m not as effective in either one if I do) I need to see it from THEIR viewpoint as well. I know I’ve been told, “I’m sorry if I’m boring you, but I just need to get this out.” And it’s not that they are boring me, but to them it feels that way, so that’s the message I’m actually communicating. Another good post with very useful tips!


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