No more hiding

Gratitude List 15/09/2018

As I reflect on the insanity of my past I often find gratitude in the things I no longer do today. One of those things I used to do was hide. Hide everything. Hide from others. Hide from myself.

Today I am so grateful I no longer hide:

– cash (on the rare occasion I had it)

– the post (even today I still uncover letters that I had once quickly shoved down the side of something)

– statements (similar to the post but far more secretive. These could not be found. Paperless billing was a huge relief)

– my phone (knowing how to hide notifications and put my phone on silent without it being obvious I was doing so)

– guilt (even if I was in the wrong, I wouldn’t let anyone know. In fact I would turn the tables and manipulate)

– the truth (my whole life was a lie. Lies I often couldn’t keep up with)

– my emotions. (sad? hurt? in pain? depressed? happy? self-pity? thoughts of self destruction? No body was allowed to know. I was by myself)

I am extremely grateful to be open and honest.