Surreal

Gratitude List 08/10/2018

Yesterday, someone told me something that caused me harm and as a result I suffered with resentment. This morning I reflected on how I dealt with the resentment and how differently I would have dealt with it a couple of years ago. Through decades of experience I can say with a degree of certainty, I would have met this resentment with frustration, anger, self-pity, manipulation and controlling behaviour. I would have made it all about me, and undoubtedly caused further harm to the other person and further harm to myself.

Yesterday, I was still harmed and I still suffered with resentment. I am no saint, I am a human being. But it was different. To start with, the resentment itself was far less potent. The real miracle though, was how I dealt with it. I was promised that if I worked the recovery program, I would gain a set of tools that will help me deal with life. It appears this promise is coming to fruition. Within seconds of suffering this resentment, these tools kicked into action. I recognised that my mind was working differently, like the cogs were working in the opposite direction. It was surreal. Another spiritual experience?

Today I am grateful for those tools that served me well last night:

– I quickly realised that this was most definitely not about me. This person had been harmed and I wasn’t going to make it worse. This helped knock self pity on the head.

– I quickly realised I was being intolerant. This was not helping me, the other person or the situation. Recognising this helped me take a deep breath, and remain calm and composed.

– I quickly realised I was not being considerate with regards to their feelings and their decisions. I began to consider this and my whole attitude changed.

– I quickly realised I was stuck in self. My thinking was selfish and self-centered. Recognising this allowed me to hand it over to a power greater than myself.

– I quickly realised my sanity was returning. I was thinking clearly and I was making more rational, more logical decisions.

– I quickly realised that showing love and forgiveness was the best action. My serenity was returning and the law of attraction began to work.

Grateful for the memory


London sunrise, November 2016