Today I say NO!

Gratitude List 22/10/2018

Yet another day where the seriousness of this illness has come to light. Another reminder that all outcomes are REAL, this isn’t a myth, this isn’t Hollywood. Another reminder to put in the diligent effort and to go to any lengths. Another reminder that I am not dealing with a common cold, no matter how much the illness wants me to believe it is.

I have no idea where I will be in the future, whether it be in a decades time or tomorrow. All I can do, is do what I know is good for me right now and give myself the best fighting chance. I am grateful I am currently writing this list. God willing I will continue to put in the required action throughout today.

There have been times where I can’t be bothered to do any recovery work because I prioritise watching trash TV, or looking at Facebook for the umpteenth time. Today I am grateful, I say NO to my illness, I will NOT listen to you. I will NOT procrastinate. I will NOT be complacent. I’m going to work my arse off, work the program to the best of my ability (the best!) and reconnect to a greater power – a power greater than me and a power greater than my illness.

I am so grateful to be where I am and have the building blocks set in front of me, many are not so fortunate. These blocks have been placed before me by thousands of people who have shared a strong, proven message. I’d be insane to ignore them. To give myself the best chance of survival all I need to do is pick these blocks up and reinforce the fortress around me. The stronger the walls, the less chance the illness will have in penetrating into my soul. I don’t want to lose this battle. I know this illness will not stop fighting (it’s a master tactitian). I can’t stop fighting either.

Today I tell my illness ‘NOT TODAY!’

Grateful for the memory

Highgate Woods, London, UK. Autumn 2018