Let go of control

Gratitude List 06/11/2018

For me, living in self is not an option. Not one I desire to use anyway. I’ve lived decades where I have had total control of my life and its not pretty reading. The lengths I have gone to to cause harm to myself still astounds me.

More astounding than that, is how my life has changed for the better. Since being guided through the recovery program, practicing it in my daily affairs and passing the same guidance to others, I have managed to let go of some of that control.

Today I am grateful for the daily suggestions I was given from day one in recovery. Suggestions that take me out of self, some without me even realising.

Today I am grateful that giving away control means I’m giving up the fears and resentments that dictated my life.

Today I am grateful for discovering humility. This was absolutely vital for me. It’s the polar opposite to my ego. Without humility I’d still be trying to shape people, places and things to my own desires. Without it I would not have become willing to believe in a greater power than myself.

Today I am grateful for my sponsor. There is no way, not a chance, not a hope, I would be in the same place I am today if I had decided how I should recover. I would have taken bits out and added bits of my own. This is a life saving solution that works and it shouldn’t be meddled with.

Today I am grateful for my greater power – my God. Having found the belief, I now had a power to hand my life over to. A power powerful enough to take the reigns. The belief was necessary, but I needed to take action, a leap of faith that my greater power could do a better job than I. He hasn’t let me down yet.

Grateful for the memory

This morning, London, UK

Tough but successful

Gratitude List 05/11/2018

Yesterday was tough. My recovery was tested as I was met by challenge after challenge. At times, I felt all was going well and at other times I felt I was failing – failing to use the tools recovery has given me. As I reflect on how the day panned out I can honestly say the day went brilliantly.

Today I am grateful for….

– my consideration. I continuously considered what the other person could be going through.

– my tolerance. I tolerated words and behaviour that didn’t match my values.

– my lack of expectation. I didn’t expect people to think and act like I do.

– my honesty. I had the courage to be honest about my feelings when that invisible line was crossed. Thanks wisdom!

– my calmness. I managed to stay calm and composed during the times I was expressing honesty.

– my forgiveness. I was able to quickly forgive things I would have struggled to forgive in the past.

– my serenity. Like my happiness, my serenity was affected far less than usual.

– my connection. Despite the difficulties, for the main, I stayed connected with my greater power. This was a conscious effort.

– my humility. It wasn’t perfect but I was humble enough to recognise when self had taken control.

– the outcome. The day didn’t progress in the wrong direction. At no point did it progress to anger, hate, regret or guilt. Instead, it etched its way back in the right direction. Kind words, appreciation and hugs were shared. Smiles returned.