Gratitude List 12/11/2018
Further to yesterday, my list reflects on the answers I have when I feel resentment.
How did I deal with resentment in the past? (i) I would let it fester and live rent free in my mind, there was no time limit, I could hold a resentment for decades. (ii) I would react with frustration and anger and make things worse, this would naturally lead to an emotional hangover. (iii) I would live in fear of the consequences and isolate myself from it.
These were the only answers I had. If I had reacted with anger and then suffered with the hangover, then maybe I would’ve followed it up with an empty sorry – a sorry to ease MY pain. There would be no meaning behind it, how could there be? It was their fault.
From having these three destructive options, I now have many answers that are good for me and for those around me. All of these answers have come about as a direct result of working the recovery program. I wasn’t suddenly blessed with such wisdom, I had to work for it.
(i) I can pick up the phone and speak about it, relieving any tension inside.
(ii) I can write about it. Prompting questions will identify how it’s affected me and where I was to blame.
(iii) I can pray and hand it over, humbly asking for my greater power’s guidance.
(iv) I can meditate and listen to the answer.
(v) I can further share with a group of like minded people.
(vi) I can think of the other person and consider why they acted like they did.
(vii) I can choose to forgive, giving me serenity in return.
(viii) I can use the humility I found and remember what I’ve done in the past.
(ix) I can read some recovery based literature. Wise words leap from the page.
(x) After ridding myself of my resentment, I can move on and enjoy the rest of the day.