Santa Claus is Coming to Town!

Gratitude List 13/12/2018

Last night I was blessed to have been present (in more ways than one) at my daughter’s Christmas show. There were countless events in the past I either missed through an absent body or an absent mind. Today I am grateful for being ‘present’ during these absolutely priceless moments.

By being present I smiled throughout and was aware of it. I also saw the smiles on other’s faces.

By being present my mind didn’t wander once towards fear, resentment or dishonesty.

By being present I could hear my daughter’s voice as she sang ‘Santa Claus is coming to town’ with two others.

By being present I could sense she was nervous, so gave her a gesture of encouragement and mouthed to her that I love her.

By being present I can remember exactly what she looked like, what she was wearing and how she had her hair.

By being present I wasn’t distracted and didn’t look at my phone once.

By being present I was overcome with love and pride.

By being present I was happy and serene. I was enjoying life.

By being present the memory is fixed in my mind. I can close my eyes now and feel what I was feeling, see what I was seeing, hear what I was hearing.

Missing less

Gratitude List 12/12/2018

There’s so much to life to enjoy.

When I was in action I missed so much.

When I was abstinent, it was better, but I still missed so much.

Whilst in recovery I am progressively missing less.

Today I am grateful I do not miss occasions like birthdays, weddings, Christmas and other celebrations – No more excuse for not turning up. If I did, no more excuses for why I had no card or gift.

Today I am grateful I’m not blind to the good in people – I used to be, and predominantly only saw the bad.

Today I am grateful I do not miss the opportunity to forgive and/or tell someone I love them – Resentment used to block me from doing so.

Today I am grateful I do not walk through nature without recognising its beauty – My head used to be either in the clouds or in my hands.

Today I am grateful I do not miss the lessons I can learn from criticism – ‘Don’t you know who I am’ used to be my arrogant motto.

Today I am grateful for my awareness of and my connection to my surroundings. I now feel part of – I used to feel alone.

Today I am grateful I do not miss the smiles on people’s faces, the laughter of children, the love between two people, the struggle of someone needing help – I used to be oblivious and numb to such simple emotions.

Today, as much as possible, I try to be grateful for each second of my day and for each breath I take. No more wasting time and no more wasting my breath.