A little kick up the…

Gratitude List 03/12/2018

‘It’s very easy for me to forget the pain and destruction I caused in the past.’

‘It’s very easy for me to forget what the fellowship has given me so far.’

Why would I risk the latter and increase the chances of the former? I’d have to be mad, or sick, or both. Yet I do occasionally risk my recovery by not putting in the diligent effort it requires. It most definitely isn’t a difficult program but I do my best to make it as hard as possible. It isn’t even time consuming yet I’m happy to waste time watching TV or checking Facebook.

Yes, I am grateful for this awareness, and yes I’ve been doing well, and yes I’m only human, but I don’t need any more evidence that this is a life threatening illness and half measures will avail me nothing. Despite everything I am doing, I promised I would go to any lengths and I know in my heart I can do more.

Complacency is my illnesses twin brother.

I’m grateful for this kick up the arse. I’m off to the church.

Part of the triangle

Gratitude List 02/12/2018

I’m really looking forward to going to a meeting this afternoon. For many reasons I have not been able to go as much as normal and it’s beginning to show. I have become a little more disagreeable and a little less tolerant. I’ve missed the unity of the rooms and my recovery is not complete without it. There’s a reason why unity is part of the recovery triangle.

Today I am very grateful to be in London and have a meeting to go to everyday of the week.

Today I am very grateful that there are many other fellowships which open up their meetings to other addicts.

Today I am very grateful for the people who attend, share my story and give me experience, strength and hope.

Today I am very grateful for those fellows who do service and make the meetings possible. They play a major part in the welfare of the group.

Today I am very grateful for the birth of the fellowships and those who were directly involved in creating such an amazing concept.

Today I am very grateful for my seat this afternoon.

Not a struggle

Gratitude List 01/12/2018

I can’t deny that some gratitude lists are easier than others. Some days my gratitude just flows and some days are more of a struggle. Today is the latter.

What really helps me is asking myself why? What has taken away my serenity? What is pulling the wool over my usually grateful eyes? From that point on, I can always find a silver lining.

Today I am grateful that although my girlfriend has caused me harm, I know I had a part to play and with the recovery program I have some answers.

Today I am grateful that although my fight against my food compulsion is currently non-existent, my fight against other compulsions are strong.

Today I am grateful that although I have lost my patience today, I am aware of this defect and I was able to take a deep breath.

Today I am grateful that although money is tight, I have a roof over my head, food in the cupboard and enough money to pay the bills.

Today I am grateful that although I am missing the meetings, I have a program to work, fellows to call and a greater power to connect with.

Today I am grateful that although I haven’t connected with my greater power as much as I’d like, I know He is there waiting for me.

Awareness

Gratitude List 30/11/2018

Today, my list reflects on my gratitude for my awareness. My awareness has grown as my recovery has progressed.

Today I am grateful for my awareness of recovery, change and what I need to do.

Today I am grateful for my awareness of acceptance, courage and wisdom.

Today I am grateful for my awareness of the help, support and power available to me.

Today I am grateful for my awareness of the beauty that surrounds me.

Today I am grateful for my awareness of gratitude.

Today I am grateful for my awareness of strengths.

Today I am grateful for my awareness of how much my life was run by fear and resentment.

Today I am grateful for my awareness of defects like intolerance and inconsideration.

Today I am grateful for my awareness of how to deal with them.

Today I am grateful for my awareness of how I can be of use to people.

Its hard to imagine a life without the awareness of what I’ve mentioned above, but that’s what it was like for me. For decades I was void of it.