Above everything!

Gratitude List 13/01/2019

‘Put recovery above everything.’

I can’t deny that when I first heard that phrase, I thought ‘not a chance’. I didn’t want to put recovery ahead of my children for example. Also, I feared how my girlfriend would feel knowing that after the suffering my illness had brought her, she would now fall behind ‘recovery’ in my priorities. Despite this resistance I have done my best to put recovery first as often as I can.

It wasn’t until recently when a good friend gave the simplest of explanations to this phrase did I fully understand it. His interpretation was simply ‘if I want something in life, the best way of achieving it, is to put recovery ahead of it’.

When I reflect on the last couple of years I am grateful I have done my best to put recovery first. As a result and without me putting two and two together, a lot of the things I’ve only dreamt of have come to fruition.

Today I am grateful I have put recovery ahead of spending all of my spare time with and making amends to my girlfriend. I attend 2-3 meetings a week, and when in her company I make and accept calls from fellows and do my daily suggestions/step work. As a result our relationship has grown in strength and love and we’re now engaged.

Today I am grateful I have put recovery ahead of the quality time I have with my children. This is difficult, I only see them twice a week. I may not go to a meeting but, when their with me I will still do my daily suggestions. Killing two birds with one stone I will also practice tolerance, patience and being present (practice the steps). As a result, our time together has a blessing. I cherish and make the most of each second.

Today I am grateful I have put recovery ahead of my financial goals. A simple one but it would have been easy for me to work crazy hours and try to make it up that way. With recovery I am learning how to be responsible and honest with money. As a result, although it is far from being perfect, I am in a better situation and I have learnt to respect money.

Today I am grateful I have put recovery ahead of my health. I have never been the healthiest of people, over the years my weight has resembled a roller-coaster and my mental state has flirted with insanity too many times. Through recovery I found serenity and happiness and self-love. As a result I have joined the gym, lost weight, become more aware of what I eat, I feel better about myself – physically and mentally and have found a spiritual-wellness.

Today I am grateful I have put recovery ahead of watching Netflix, going to the cinema, supporting Spurs, not supporting Arsenal, checking Facebook again, going out drinking or eating with friends and any other apparent pleasures. As a result I don’t practice my defects as often.

Today I am grateful I have put recovery ahead of the management of my own life. Again, I am no Saint when it comes to this but I am progressing. If a situation arises that I instinctively feel I need to manage, I do my upmost to let go and let God. Its not easy, but if I do it always works. As a result life is better.

On reflection and in hindsight I am now able to put two and two together and realise all that’s now good in my life is because I put recovery ahead of it. For the future, if I desire anything, from going on a nice holiday to becoming an even better father, then I know exactly how to do it. Put recovery first.