With hindsight

Gratitude List 19/01/2019

It occured to me recently that a lot of what I enjoy in my life today is due to my past actions. That’s obvious, you may think and that would be true. I didn’t suddenly grasp happiness, serenity and hope from thin air did I?

Most of these actions were given to me as suggestions. Suggestions to recover. Suggestions that have been proven to work. Despite this, I met each suggestion with scrutiny, some I even resented. But something deep inside my conscience told me to take a leap of faith and just do them, no questions asked. Maybe it was the gift of desperation I had at that very moment? The fact I would try anything to make me feel better.

Today I am grateful I call my sponsor. With hindsight I have come to realise I have been practicing honesty and humility as I share my difficulties and humbly ask for guidance.

Today I am grateful I am grateful I read recovery based literature. With hindsight I have come to realise my knowledge surrounding my illness has been growing. The words have also played a major role in my current motivation and inspiration.

Today I am grateful I do these lists. With hindsight I have come to realise that gratitude has been replacing expectations which has led to increased happiness and serenity.

Today I am grateful I attend regular meetings and take up service positions. With hindsight I have come to realise that service and unity are absolute key components in the solution to my illness. Togetherness has been replacing isolation.

Today I am grateful I pick up the phone and call other fellows. With hindsight I have come to realise that thinking of others is a great way to take me out of self. I have been practicing selflessness.

Today I am grateful I do daily inventories. With hindsight I have come to realise the prompting questions highlight my shortcomings. Again, I get to practice honesty and in return I have been gaining humility and content for my evening prayer.

Today I am grateful I pray and meditate. With hindsight I have come to realise my connection has grown from willingness, to belief, to faith.

Each benefit I get from doing these suggestions has enabled me to grow within spiritual lines. It’s this spiritual growth that will prevent me from a relapse, keep me grateful, make me a better person and allow me enjoy life.