People Pleasing

Gratitude List 24/01/2019

People pleasing and the serenity prayer.

I’ve always been a people pleaser and I’ve realised this is predominantly because I want to be a good person. But sometimes it’s based on a fear of letting people down. Like so many other things the serenity prayer seems to fit perfectly. When faced with this particular fear, I have asked my greater power for guidance through the serenity prayer. In return my greater power has directed me to the following three steps which have helped me hugely.

First Step – ACCEPT. In my experience, something must’ve happened for the fear to be created – examples are running late for an appointment due to traffic or being put in a difficult situation, either by myself or another, whereby someone’s values will be challenged. Whatever it is, it’s in the past and therefore I have to accept it for what it is – I cannot change it.

Second Step – CHANGE. From that point, I ask ‘is there anything I can change?’ First and foremost I can always put my fear down on paper, pray and hand it over to my greater power. If I’ve been guided towards further action, then while I’m on my knees I can pray for the required courage. Any following action needs to be within spiritual lines, there’s no point taking the easy way out with an insincere act. For example, a lie to cover a lie, or cause harm to another just to save my own neck.

Third Step – ACCEPT. If further action is required, then I need to remind myself I have no control as to how someone reacts to it. It maybe, that despite doing the next right thing, I could upset another. Fearing this could prevent me from doing what I need to. I need to accept the things I cannot change – that includes other people and how they react. I can’t please everyone.

No scenario is the same. Above is just one. When to accept? When to change? It’s never straightforward. That’s why there is so much importance on the prayer itself, I am asking my greater power for some help and willing to wait and listen for the answer through meditation.

Today I am grateful for the wisdom to know the difference.

Author: gratitude4gratitude

A relative newbie to gratitude. Starting each day with a gratitude list sets me up for the day. This small effort starts a domino effect of positive action and subsequent serenity.

3 thoughts on “People Pleasing”

  1. So true – I myself realised that I often was overly grateful and when contemplating long about the reasons I found out that it was due to a lack of literal “self-confidence”.
    There also is some nasty unspoken dynamic in which the one with the stronger center feels less compelled to be grateful so that the “weaker” (yet actually more evolved, because more empathic and sensitive one) has to give much more in this dynamic.
    This happens especially in love-relationships where the more loving one often is doomed to be in the weaker position.

    It is very difficult and takes decades to grow out of this kind of worm’s-eye view, and my experience is that it works by being sincere as often as possible and therewith evolving into a morally superior character wich then allows for dignity.
    And there we are back to gratitude, because “morally superior” does of course not mean arrogant, but the opposite – being humble and therewith appreciative and grateful – the more often the better.

    You can observe how that effects the less fair-minded people, when they are confronted with a spiritual leader and they try to show their most loving face (which sometimes seems disingenuous).

    So thank you in advance for your gratitude about me thanking you for your grateful article πŸ˜‰

    Liked by 1 person

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