Gratitude List 24/06/2019
When in action, I always find time to feed my compulsions. My responsibilities are thrown out the window and with them goes my chances of living a happy, joyous and free life.
Why is it then, when in recovery, time seems to dissappear? Of course, as an addict in recovery I am more responsible. No longer am I dishonestly creating time to act out. I often told work “I need to pop to the bank” or text my girlfriend “Sorry, I have to do overtime”. Nowadays, when I should be at work, I’m at work. As such, some of the windows of time I used to have are now shut with this new found maturity.
I was once deviously clever with creating time. Now, I can still be clever, but in a sincere way. I have to, my life and happiness depend on it.
Today I am grateful I can create time by going to sleep later.
Today I am grateful I can create time by setting my alarm earlier.
Today I am grateful I can read and write whilst commuting to work.
Today I am grateful I can call if I’m driving (using hands free of course).
Today I am grateful to have an opportunity during my lunch break.
Today I am grateful I can read and write whilst commuting back home.
Life is life and it may not be possible to do all of the above but I have learnt to make use of the opportunities when they arise. If I procrastinate and leave it till the next opportunity, it may never materialise.
Today I am grateful I can choose to fill the voids in my evenings with recovery.
It doesn’t mean I can never watch TV, it doesn’t mean I can never go to the gym, it doesn’t mean I don’t get to spend quality time with my loved ones. But as my life and everything in it depends on whether I am clean and abstinent, I must choose to sacrifice things on a daily basis. It may mean I need to delay watching TV, it may mean I have to ask the kids to play in their room for a bit. If I’m clever and wise and make the most of my opportunities, I will still have plenty of time each day to enjoy life.
If I find myself struggling to fill these voids with something productive:
Today I am grateful I can recognise and admit when I am suffering with laziness or procrastination.
Today I am grateful I can hand over my will to my greater power and ask for His strength and guidance.
Today I am grateful I can surrender to His guidance when that ‘gut feeling’ tells me I should be doing something else.
Lastly, I mustn’t forget that doing recovery work is good for me!! It’s not a chore!