Wow I had a long day at work yesterday – pushing on 19 hours! As I reflect on it, there are certain things I am proud of.
I worked hard! No procrastination and no laziness. Industrious is not a word I would often use to describe myself but I most definitely was yesterday.
I suffered no fear! In the past I would have dreaded telling my partner I was coming home late. People pleasing was (and still is sometimes) a real issue for me and this, for me, leads to dishonesty. To protect people’s feelings!? Oh the irony!
I held no resentments! Because of my fears, I would normally resent my job and my supervisors. My mind would be spinning and cursing.
I didn’t moan and whinge! How the old me would love to bring everyone down a notch by complaining about everything.
In summary, I am happy with what I brought to the table yesterday. Despite being at work all day I did my bit for the stream of life.
Yesterday was the first time in a long, long time I didn’t blog my daily gratitude list. It’s not that I didn’t do one, I just decided not to post it. The lists will continue to be a vital part of my recovery program, but from today, my blog will look somewhat different. I’m not entirely sure what I will blog about, I’ll just have to wait and find out….
Saturday just gone took me and my partner to a friends 40th birthday party. Prior to going we had already resigned ourselves to the fact we were going to have a few drinks and promptly booked a room to assist in our post night out rehabilitation. Both my partner and I are blessed in a sense that we do not (currently) have an issue with drinking alcohol. We don’t drink that much, on average we drink a unit or two every couple of months and nights out like this are a rare occasion.
So Saturday came and went and despite my amateur status I surprisingly held my drink well. I was able to control the amount I was drinking – control being something I cannot exercise in other aspects of my life. As a result, I felt feel physically well (ish) in the morning.
It’s now Monday morning and as I reflect on my Sunday I have realised how much the alcohol had indeed effected me. Although I didn’t suffer with the stereo-typical physical symptoms of a hangover I did suffer spiritually and emotionally. I just wasn’t myself all day. I was argumentative, snappy and bloody lazy! Although the latter can be a common Sunday occurrence.
I’ve always known that alcohol is a drug, but yesterday was the first time I’ve really felt it and admitted it. It shouldn’t be a revelation but like many other ‘in your face obvious things’ I’ve discovered in recovery, it was.