Gratitude List 14/04/2019: Recovery

Gratitude List 14/04/2019

Today I am grateful I am in recovery. It means I’m able to meet a challenge with calmness and composure.

Today I am grateful I am in recovery. It means I can be there for someone who needs my support.

Today I am grateful I am in recovery. It means I haven’t wasted any time today.

Today I am grateful I am in recovery. It means I am more patient and tolerant towards my children.

Today I am grateful I am in recovery. It means I am able to show love and forgiveness.

Today I am grateful I am in recovery. It means I can put food on the table for my family.

Today I am grateful I am in recovery. It means I have some answers.

Today I am grateful I am in recovery. It means I have humility and a faith in a greater power than myself.

Today I am grateful I am in recovery. It means I am as happy and as serene as I can remember.

Today I am grateful I am in recovery. It means I have hope.

Today I am grateful I am in recovery. It means this list could go on and on.

Advertisements

Gratitude List 13/04/2019: Subtle Progression

Gratitude List 13/04/2019

What I love about this progressive recovery is it’s subtlety. There have been a few ‘thunderbolt’ moments but for the most, changes are happening without me even noticing. Remembering where I came from, along with my daily inventory, I am reminded of how far I’ve come. And today I can look at my inventory and think wow! I’ve come a long way!

Today I am grateful I have not been resentful. In the past, resentment was an absolute constant. I resented so many for so many reasons. Nothing took my happiness away as much as resentment. Today is a blessing.

Today I am grateful I have not been selfish. My ego never let me admit how selfish I was, I believed I was the most thoughtful person in existence. Today I can identify my selfishness and I possess the tools to put it right.

Today I am grateful I have not been dishonest. Wow, this one is a daily miracle. I used to lie about everything. Everything! Most of them were absolutely pointless. I was just compulsive. I rarely lie now which is quite unbelievable.

Today I am grateful I have not been fearful. In the past I was riddled with fear. Absolutely riddled. Big fears, little fears and most were fears that didn’t even exist. Today I have no fear, instead I have serenity.

Today I am grateful I do not owe an apology. Genuinely saying sorry was never my thing anyway because I was always right. Not happy though. Today I can promptly admit when I’m wrong and be humble enough to do the next right thing.

Today I am grateful I reach out when I need to. No more surpressing. No more isolation. No more pride. Today I am comfortable with being vulnerable and I have an abundance of people to reach out to.

Today I am grateful I was kind and loving to all. I used to think I was. I was at times, but other times the kindness and love was a mask for the underlining manipulation and selfish dishonesty. Today the love and kindness I give is selfless and genuine.

Today I am grateful there is always something I can do better. (‘We strive for progression not perfection.’) In the past, as I reflected on another day of destruction, I would have felt some comfort in a different thought – ‘things could have been worse.’ Which is true, but today I am looking forward – always looking to better myself.

Today I am grateful I wasn’t always thinking of myself. My thinking was always about what I could get out of it. I wouldn’t contemplate anything unless I got something in return. Even the purchase of a gift would come with a huge expectation of gratitude in return. Today, even when I do things to better me, the thinking behind them is for the benefit of those around me.

Today I am grateful I thought of what we could do for others, or what I could pack into the stream of life. Like above, there was very little I would do that didn’t have a selfish slant to it. Most of the time I was being completely and utterly selfish. Like polar opposites, today is different, I am blessed to have changed. I am blessed with a second life in one. Whether it’s to my family, my friends, my colleagues, my community or my fellowship – I am more than happy to give something back.

Gratitude List 12/04/2019:

Gratitude List 12/04/2019

A few days ago, the reflection of the day spoke of the stillness of God (as you understand Him). How when I’m restless, I can rely on Him to be still, calm and consistent. I found this to be a very comforting thought. It made me realise how I have and how I can continue to lean on my own understanding of God to get me through life’s ups and downs.

Today I am grateful that when I suffer from fear, I can connect and seek guidance from a power who does not know fear.

Today I am grateful that when I feel resentful, I can connect and seek guidance from a power who only knows love and forgiveness.

Today I am grateful that when I am tempted to be dishonest, I can connect and seek guidance from a power who is only honest.

Today I am grateful that when I lust, I can connect and seek guidance from a power who only thinks clean.

Today I am grateful that when I am intolerant, I can connect and seek guidance from a power who considers and understands.

Today I am grateful that when I don’t know whether to accept or show courage, I can connect and seek guidance from a power who has the wisdom.

Today I am grateful that when I don’t do my best, I can connect and seek guidance from a power who does not judge.

Today I am grateful that when I am faced with challenges, I can connect and seek guidance from a power who has the answers.

Today I am grateful to be able to put these defects in the hands of a greater power that does not suffer with them. A true blessing.

Gratitude List 11/04/2019: Another Good Day

Gratitude List 11/04/2019

Another Good Day

06:35am Today I am grateful for the Reflection of the Day. What an incredibly comforting thought typified by this line – ‘May my restlessness be stilled by the unchanging nature of God, in whom I place my trust.’

06:36am Today I am grateful to have found some humility and as a result – a greater power. Only with this can I relate to the Reflection of the Day.

06:44am Today I am grateful to be listening to music. This morning it’s Mumford and Sons, they seem to amplify how I’m feeling right now – serene, happy and connected.

09:35am to 09:45am Today I am grateful for the very inspiring video, one for different reasons I can completely relate to.

11:14am Today I am grateful for the crystal blue sky today and the brilliant sun. It’s crisp but its beautiful. There is something comforting about facing the warmth of the sun.

12:45pm Today I am grateful for the lunch in my bag. It’s healthy, nutritious and plentiful.

13:30pm Today I am grateful for the comradery shared by the team at work. It’s one of the reasons I enjoy what I do.

15:03pm Today I am grateful for the understanding and support I have from my supervisors at work regarding some needed time off.

18:00pm Today I am grateful for the tools I have to deal with fear. They’re being put to good use right now.

20:00pm Today I am grateful for cooking my girlfriend a meal. It was nice to see her relaxing while I was doing something I enjoy.

Gratitude List 10/04/2019: Minute by minute

Gratitude List 10/04/2019

07:05am Today I am grateful that my early start means I get half an hour to myself. Enough time to do some suggestions and start my day off on the right foot.

07:40am Today I am grateful I was able to fearlessly be honest with someone. Gratitude must go to the guidance from a greater power.

08:25am Today I am grateful I can afford to treat my son and daughter to breakfast.

09:07am Today I am grateful for the kisses and cuddles goodbye.

09:30am Today I am grateful I remembered to make an important call. Lately I’ve been forgetting to do important things and it makes me look like I don’t care, when I do.

11:47am Today I am grateful I am inside and not outside on this cold and damp day. My prayers go out to those who find themselves living on the streets.

15:05pm Today I am grateful I filled this void by connecting with like minded fellows and meditating a little more than usual.

16:02pm Today I am grateful I reached out and picked up the phone in hope my moment of temptation would pass. Guess what…. It worked! Again!

20:13pm Today I am grateful for Hugo’s hands. 21:34pm Today I am grateful for Sonny’s left foot. 21:51pm Today I am grateful for the referee’s whistle.

23:13pm Today I am grateful I am picturing my children. The thought has brought a smile to my face and warmth to my heart.

Gratitude List 09/04/2019: Happy Birthday!

Gratitude List 09/04/2019

Today I am grateful to have my son wake up at ours on his 17th birthday.

Today I am grateful to have him in my life. Quite simply, it’s a blessing.

Today I am grateful for the time we get to spend together. Naturally I wish for even more, but I am grateful because my past could have led to much worse.

Today I am grateful for his courage. When I reflect on how brave he has been, it’s very inspiring.

Today I am grateful for how mature my son is. At times, he has shown maturity beyond his years.

Today I am grateful for the lessons I can learn from him. As well as courage he displays many strengths of character, strengths that I am striving for myself.

Today I am grateful for the brother he is to his little sister. He is very caring, loving, ‘tolererant’ and incredibly protective.

Today I am grateful for how friendly he is. He displays great humility and trust. His friends look to him for support and advice. He’s the go-to friend.

Today I am grateful for the shared interests we have. They bring a teenage son and his dad closer together.

Today I am grateful for our relationship. Its been a roller-coaster – some great times and some difficult times but all in all we are in a good place today.

Today I am grateful for this list. I can’t deny I often focus too much on what my son does wrong. It’s good to reflect on his many positives. He’s an amazing young man, one I’m very proud of.

Gratitude List 08/04/2019: Dealing with Fear

Gratitude List 08/04/2019

A great day yesterday full of happiness and serenity surrounded a 15 minute period of fear. Fear is crippling. Whilst in existence, fear can take away that happiness and serenity and replace it with projection, worry and concern. Thankfully, the Recovery Program has given me several tools which allow me to best deal with fear.

My list today relates to these tools. Tools that I lived the majority of my adult life without. Yesterday’s fear was small in comparison to others I have had to deal with and I didn’t need to use all the tools listed below. But even the smallest fears can have a negative effect on my spiritual well-being, so knowing how to rid myself of them is a beautiful thing.

Today I am grateful that through experience I can safely say that fears are rarely what I build them up to be. ‘What was I worried about?’ is often the arising question when reality actually plays its part.

Today I am grateful I am aware of the simple fact that my greater power doesn’t wish fear on me. Therefore, my self-will must have taken the reigns. From that awareness, reconnection to my greater power is essential.

Today I am grateful I have a specific prayer I can utilise in order to hand over any fears that enter my mind. No matter the fear, letting go is an action I can always do. Quite simply, it can be that easy.

Today I am grateful I can close my eyes and meditate in order to connect further and await my greater power’s guidance. The connection takes me out of self-mode. The guidance will invariably lead to further action.

Today I am grateful I can pick up the phone and talk to somebody. Sharing is so helpful with regards to fear. One thing I know for sure – trying to surpress them doesn’t work.

Today I am grateful I can write about it. There is some unexplained magic in getting things down on paper but the simple process means I am admitting the fear to myself. I’m acknowledging it’s existence instead of denying it.

Today I am grateful I can recognise and accept fears that I have no control over. Most of these are either future based or based on the actions of others. Fully accepting there is nothing I can do goes a long way.

Today I am grateful there are times when I can take action. Action that will relieve the fear somewhat – being honest with someone for example or going to the doctors to get checked out. Faith without works dies. My greater power won’t do something I can do myself.

Today I am grateful for the self knowledge I have gained over the last couple of years or so. Knowing Who I Am along with some knowledge of fear itself means I know what to look out for and what part of me played it’s part.

Today I am grateful for the pages within the Big Book that speak of fear. Like the rest of the book, the words make sense to me. I can relate to them entirely. Knowing I’m not alone is vital.

Today I am grateful for the many experiences which have proved the above tools work! Each success adds to the faith I have in their ability to squash fear and return me to serene state of mind.