Gratitude List 16/04/2019: Action

Gratitude List 16/04/2019

Yesterday the obsession was on top of me. The inevitability was strong. My will-power was about to collapse. Fortunately, I listened to God’s conscience.

Action:

Today I am grateful to have a knowledge of recovery tools.

Today I am grateful I had the strength to use this knowledge, pick up my phone and connect with a like-minded fellow.

Today I am grateful I shared with him exactly how I was feeling.

Today I am grateful I then called my girlfriend and was honest with her – how I was feeling, but also how I had been deceitful.

Today I am grateful I thanked my greater power for His guidance and strength.

What I got in return:

Today I am grateful my utter weakness was being replaced with a power greater than myself. This power came from unity, honesty and humility. As I spoke, I could feel the strength flooding back into me.

Today I am grateful the power was far stronger than the obsession. It only took a few minutes before it was completely lifted.

Today I am grateful for how connected I suddenly felt. Not only did I feel empowered I felt serene, I felt at peace.

Today I am grateful my call was a welcome one. Without me knowing, the benefits were working both ways.

Today I am grateful this was not an obsession of my primary addition. Even so, the powerlessness I felt took me right back. I am grateful for that reminder. I’d like to believe the very same tools would have arrested that addiction in the very same way.

Today I am grateful for how the direction of my day was changed. Not just my day, but potentially my week or my month.

Gratitude List 15/04/2019

Gratitude List 15/04/2019

Today I am grateful for the time I get to spend with my children and my girlfriend – our family unit. I love them all so much.

Today I am grateful to share with my son the excitement of the new Game of Thrones season. Yes I did stay up to watch it with him!

Today I am grateful for the beautiful blue sky and (slightly) warming sun. It’s nice to be outside in the fresh air.

Today I am grateful I notice and enjoy the beauty of our garden. It’s so colourful, so varied and full of life.

Today I am grateful for the silence that surrounds the sound of the wind and the birds singing.

Today I am grateful for our home and the fact it feels like home. There’s already an abundance of comfort and happiness.

Today I am grateful for the warmth of my girlfriend’s hand. Warmth in touch and in feeling.

Today I am grateful for the niggly ache in my back. It could be so much worse.

Today I am grateful for my work and their understanding of my current situation. They are incredibly supportive.

Today I am grateful I sound like a broken record when I repeat (again and again) my gratitude towards recovery. It’s working again today.

Gratitude List 14/04/2019: Recovery

Gratitude List 14/04/2019

Today I am grateful I am in recovery. It means I’m able to meet a challenge with calmness and composure.

Today I am grateful I am in recovery. It means I can be there for someone who needs my support.

Today I am grateful I am in recovery. It means I haven’t wasted any time today.

Today I am grateful I am in recovery. It means I am more patient and tolerant towards my children.

Today I am grateful I am in recovery. It means I am able to show love and forgiveness.

Today I am grateful I am in recovery. It means I can put food on the table for my family.

Today I am grateful I am in recovery. It means I have some answers.

Today I am grateful I am in recovery. It means I have humility and a faith in a greater power than myself.

Today I am grateful I am in recovery. It means I am as happy and as serene as I can remember.

Today I am grateful I am in recovery. It means I have hope.

Today I am grateful I am in recovery. It means this list could go on and on.

Gratitude List 13/04/2019: Subtle Progression

Gratitude List 13/04/2019

What I love about this progressive recovery is it’s subtlety. There have been a few ‘thunderbolt’ moments but for the most, changes are happening without me even noticing. Remembering where I came from, along with my daily inventory, I am reminded of how far I’ve come. And today I can look at my inventory and think wow! I’ve come a long way!

Today I am grateful I have not been resentful. In the past, resentment was an absolute constant. I resented so many for so many reasons. Nothing took my happiness away as much as resentment. Today is a blessing.

Today I am grateful I have not been selfish. My ego never let me admit how selfish I was, I believed I was the most thoughtful person in existence. Today I can identify my selfishness and I possess the tools to put it right.

Today I am grateful I have not been dishonest. Wow, this one is a daily miracle. I used to lie about everything. Everything! Most of them were absolutely pointless. I was just compulsive. I rarely lie now which is quite unbelievable.

Today I am grateful I have not been fearful. In the past I was riddled with fear. Absolutely riddled. Big fears, little fears and most were fears that didn’t even exist. Today I have no fear, instead I have serenity.

Today I am grateful I do not owe an apology. Genuinely saying sorry was never my thing anyway because I was always right. Not happy though. Today I can promptly admit when I’m wrong and be humble enough to do the next right thing.

Today I am grateful I reach out when I need to. No more surpressing. No more isolation. No more pride. Today I am comfortable with being vulnerable and I have an abundance of people to reach out to.

Today I am grateful I was kind and loving to all. I used to think I was. I was at times, but other times the kindness and love was a mask for the underlining manipulation and selfish dishonesty. Today the love and kindness I give is selfless and genuine.

Today I am grateful there is always something I can do better. (‘We strive for progression not perfection.’) In the past, as I reflected on another day of destruction, I would have felt some comfort in a different thought – ‘things could have been worse.’ Which is true, but today I am looking forward – always looking to better myself.

Today I am grateful I wasn’t always thinking of myself. My thinking was always about what I could get out of it. I wouldn’t contemplate anything unless I got something in return. Even the purchase of a gift would come with a huge expectation of gratitude in return. Today, even when I do things to better me, the thinking behind them is for the benefit of those around me.

Today I am grateful I thought of what we could do for others, or what I could pack into the stream of life. Like above, there was very little I would do that didn’t have a selfish slant to it. Most of the time I was being completely and utterly selfish. Like polar opposites, today is different, I am blessed to have changed. I am blessed with a second life in one. Whether it’s to my family, my friends, my colleagues, my community or my fellowship – I am more than happy to give something back.

Gratitude List 12/04/2019:

Gratitude List 12/04/2019

A few days ago, the reflection of the day spoke of the stillness of God (as you understand Him). How when I’m restless, I can rely on Him to be still, calm and consistent. I found this to be a very comforting thought. It made me realise how I have and how I can continue to lean on my own understanding of God to get me through life’s ups and downs.

Today I am grateful that when I suffer from fear, I can connect and seek guidance from a power who does not know fear.

Today I am grateful that when I feel resentful, I can connect and seek guidance from a power who only knows love and forgiveness.

Today I am grateful that when I am tempted to be dishonest, I can connect and seek guidance from a power who is only honest.

Today I am grateful that when I lust, I can connect and seek guidance from a power who only thinks clean.

Today I am grateful that when I am intolerant, I can connect and seek guidance from a power who considers and understands.

Today I am grateful that when I don’t know whether to accept or show courage, I can connect and seek guidance from a power who has the wisdom.

Today I am grateful that when I don’t do my best, I can connect and seek guidance from a power who does not judge.

Today I am grateful that when I am faced with challenges, I can connect and seek guidance from a power who has the answers.

Today I am grateful to be able to put these defects in the hands of a greater power that does not suffer with them. A true blessing.

Gratitude List 11/04/2019: Another Good Day

Gratitude List 11/04/2019

Another Good Day

06:35am Today I am grateful for the Reflection of the Day. What an incredibly comforting thought typified by this line – ‘May my restlessness be stilled by the unchanging nature of God, in whom I place my trust.’

06:36am Today I am grateful to have found some humility and as a result – a greater power. Only with this can I relate to the Reflection of the Day.

06:44am Today I am grateful to be listening to music. This morning it’s Mumford and Sons, they seem to amplify how I’m feeling right now – serene, happy and connected.

09:35am to 09:45am Today I am grateful for the very inspiring video, one for different reasons I can completely relate to.

11:14am Today I am grateful for the crystal blue sky today and the brilliant sun. It’s crisp but its beautiful. There is something comforting about facing the warmth of the sun.

12:45pm Today I am grateful for the lunch in my bag. It’s healthy, nutritious and plentiful.

13:30pm Today I am grateful for the comradery shared by the team at work. It’s one of the reasons I enjoy what I do.

15:03pm Today I am grateful for the understanding and support I have from my supervisors at work regarding some needed time off.

18:00pm Today I am grateful for the tools I have to deal with fear. They’re being put to good use right now.

20:00pm Today I am grateful for cooking my girlfriend a meal. It was nice to see her relaxing while I was doing something I enjoy.

Gratitude List 10/04/2019: Minute by minute

Gratitude List 10/04/2019

07:05am Today I am grateful that my early start means I get half an hour to myself. Enough time to do some suggestions and start my day off on the right foot.

07:40am Today I am grateful I was able to fearlessly be honest with someone. Gratitude must go to the guidance from a greater power.

08:25am Today I am grateful I can afford to treat my son and daughter to breakfast.

09:07am Today I am grateful for the kisses and cuddles goodbye.

09:30am Today I am grateful I remembered to make an important call. Lately I’ve been forgetting to do important things and it makes me look like I don’t care, when I do.

11:47am Today I am grateful I am inside and not outside on this cold and damp day. My prayers go out to those who find themselves living on the streets.

15:05pm Today I am grateful I filled this void by connecting with like minded fellows and meditating a little more than usual.

16:02pm Today I am grateful I reached out and picked up the phone in hope my moment of temptation would pass. Guess what…. It worked! Again!

20:13pm Today I am grateful for Hugo’s hands. 21:34pm Today I am grateful for Sonny’s left foot. 21:51pm Today I am grateful for the referee’s whistle.

23:13pm Today I am grateful I am picturing my children. The thought has brought a smile to my face and warmth to my heart.

Gratitude List 01/04/2019: The simple truth

Gratitude List 01/04/2019

Today I am grateful I accept my addiction for what it is – an illness. Just like some other illnesses, my addiction can never be cured. It will never go away. I have it for life. It will never ease in its potency, instead it will progressively get worse. Will-power alone will never overpower my illness (No matter how hard I try). My illness can and has lead others to insanity, prison and death.

But….

Today I am also grateful there is a solution. A solution that requires diligent effort, but a solution that works. A solution that is watertight. No matter how much my illness progresses, the solution will always be stronger – as long as I work it. How much do I want it? Am I worth it? Damn right I am. Thankfully, within the solution are powers greater than myself, powers stronger than my illness. Powers that can arrest the incurable on a day-to-day basis. Powers that I can rely on if I honestly and humbly seek them. Powers that enable me to live a happy and joyous life despite of my illness. A solution that has worked for thousands and thousands of others. My illness does not need to be cured – I do!

Gratitude List 18/03/2019: Take the time.

Gratitude List 18/03/2019

Take the time.

My list today refers to simple every-day moments. The reason why they appear on my gratitude list is because they haven’t always played a part in my life. My illness was all consuming. Including time. I would rarely take the time to do anything else. Today I have the time, so why not use it.

Today I am grateful I put my phone down, turned the TV off and took the time to play charades with my daughter.

Today I am grateful I took the time to read before going to sleep.

Today I am grateful I stopped what I was doing and took the time to take a call from a friend looking for advice.

Today I am grateful I didn’t act on impulse and instead took the time to choose a healthy breakfast.

Today I am grateful I took the time to say Grace before eating said healthy breakfast.

Today I am grateful I took the time to wish my dad and nephew a happy birthday.

Today I am grateful I stopped thinking about what I wanted to say and took the time to give my girlfriend my full attention when she was speaking to me.

Today I am grateful I recognised a void and took the time to reach out and connect with like-minded fellows, family and friends.

Today I am grateful I took the time to pray and meditate before trying to help my son.

Today I am grateful I grasped the opportunity whilst commuting and took the time to do this list.

Gratitude List 18/03/2019: Take the time.

Gratitude List 18/03/2019

Take the time.

My list today refers to simple every-day moments. The reason why they appear on my gratitude list is because they haven’t always played a part in my life. My illness was all consuming. Including time. I would rarely take the time to do anything else. Today I have the time, so why not use it.

Today I am grateful I put my phone down, turned the TV off and took the time to play charades with my daughter.

Today I am grateful I took the time to read before going to sleep.

Today I am grateful I stopped what I was doing and took the time to take a call from a friend looking for advice.

Today I am grateful I didn’t act on impulse and instead took the time to choose a healthy breakfast.

Today I am grateful I took the time to say Grace before eating said healthy breakfast.

Today I am grateful I took the time to wish my dad and nephew a happy birthday.

Today I am grateful I stopped thinking about what I wanted to say and took the time to give my girlfriend my full attention when she was speaking to me.

Today I am grateful I recognised a void and took the time to reach out and connect with like-minded fellows, family and friends.

Today I am grateful I took the time to pray and meditate before trying to help my son.

Today I am grateful I grasped the opportunity whilst commuting and took the time to do this list.