“Can we have a chat later?”

This morning I was greeted with that dreaded question…

“Can we have a chat later?”

This is never good news, is it?

Based on personal experience, no, it is not good news. What have I done wrong now? What faults are she going to bring up? What situations can I bring to the table to counter hers? These are just a few of the questions that would be spinning around my head in the meantime. That is if I allowed it to be delayed till ‘later’. Normally, I would insist that she said what she needed to say immediately. Why should I be made to wait and suffer?

Well today, I am grateful to have not reacted this way. How I’ve reacted goes to show how far recovery has taken me.

These are just a few of my thoughts…

– This is probably an opportunity for her to get things off her chest and share how she is feeling. Something I am blessed to do several times a week at meetings.

– This could be an opportunity for me to listen and learn from whatever she has to say. Another chance to progress.

– This could be an opportunity for me to practice strengths of character like tolerance, patience, consideration, love and humility.

– This could be another opportunity for me to make amends if I have caused any harm.

– This is an opportunity for me to use the ‘meantime’ to pray and meditate and prepare myself spiritually, rather than acting on impulse (self).

– This could be an opportunity for her to bear witness to my difficulties being removed and see God’s power shine through.

– This is another opportunity for me to accept the things I cannot change and have the courage to change the things I can.

– This is another opportunity for me to let go and live life on life’s terms.

There is nothing for me to fear. Furthermore, when reality plays out, there is rarely anything to fear in the first place.

In any case, wish me luck 😉

Gratitude List 22/06/2019

Gratitude List 22/06/2019

Right now, I am exhausted and as a result I am super irritable. Time for some simple gratitude.

Today I am grateful I am not gambling.

Today I am grateful I have nothing to worry about.

Today I am grateful I am not in a rush.

Today I am grateful for the clothes on my back.

Today I am grateful for the food in the fridge.

Today I am grateful for my health.

Today I am grateful for the opportunities I have.

Today I am grateful for the beautiful weather this morning.

Today I am grateful I have plenty to be grateful for.

Today I am grateful I have some answers.

Today I am grateful I am alive, I have my freedom and I have my sanity.

Today I am grateful for each breath.

And hey presto! I feel much better! These gratitude lists, as well as other recovery tools I have gathered along the way, have the ability to change the direction of my day. All I need to do is surrender to God’s will when He plants a thought of action in my head, instead of of surrendering to my own self-will telling me not to bother.

Gratitude List 13/06/2019: Resentments

Gratitude List 13/06/2019

Sometimes resentments arise. It’s life. How I react to them will have huge effect on the serenity and happiness of firstly myself and secondly those around me. Thankfully, through the steps, I have been given some valuable lessons in life.

Today I am grateful I am learning about feelings and emotions.

Today I am grateful I am learning about maturity.

Today I am grateful I am learning how to look at the part I played.

Today I am grateful I am learning how to use tolerance and consideration.

Today I am grateful I am learning how to forgive and love.

Today I am grateful I am learning how to ask for forgiveness.

Today I am grateful I am learning how to remain humble.

Today I am grateful I am learning how to accept people, places and things.

Today I am grateful I am learning how to take action and change the things I can.

Today I am grateful I am still learning.

💪🏻🙏🏻❤😊👍🏻

Gratitude List 23/05/2019: Overspill

Gratitude List 23/05/2019

Today I am grateful that by attending fellowship meetings I have learnt so much. What happens in those rooms is nothing short of magical. The blessing is, if I work it, the magic overspills into my life outside the rooms.

Today I am grateful that by sharing and listening in the rooms, I now communicate better with my family, friends and loved ones.

Today I am grateful that by continuously speaking aloud in the rooms, I am more confident in speaking in front of people at work.

Today I am grateful that by practicing anonymity in the rooms, I have become a more trustworthy friend and less of a gossip.

Today I am grateful that by being honest in the rooms, I am now more comfortable in telling my family how I feel.

Today I am grateful that by doing service for others in the rooms, I can do things for my girlfriend without expecting thanks.

Today I am grateful that by using open-mindedness in the rooms, I am able to remain open-minded when I come across spiritually sick people.

Today I am grateful that by reading Just For Today in the rooms, I am not afraid to enjoy the beautiful world around me.

Today I am grateful that by being vulnerable and admitting my own flaws in the rooms, I judge less the people who harm me.

Today I am grateful that by saying the serenity prayer at the end of each meeting, I can accept the things I cannot change, I can change the things I can and the wisdom in knowing the difference is forever growing.

Gratitude List 10/05/2019: Unity Recovery Service

Gratitude List 10/05/2019

Unity Recovery Service

The three pillars of the solution. Each pillar is as vital as the other. They rely on each other. Each of them need solid foundations and daily maintenance. If one pillar weakens and is left to rot, then castle G will surely collapse.

Today I am grateful for attending meetings. Sharing, relating, learning, and practicing the traditions. Unity.

Today I am grateful for connecting with fellows outside the of the meetings. Calls, coffees and bowling. Unity.

Today I am grateful for uniting with all the groups I belong to – family, friends, work colleagues, the community, the human race, nature, life! Unity.

Today I am grateful for the 12 Step Program. Acceptance, open-mindedness, willingness, belief, honesty, humility, faith, amends, more honesty, spirituality, selflessness, service. Recovery.

Today I am grateful for working the steps in my daily life to the best of my ability. Using the tools gained. Recovery.

Today I am grateful for sponsorship. Guidance, wisdom, letting go, support, the message. Recovery.

Today I am grateful for the daily suggestions. Gratitude, connection, prayer, meditation, literature and an honest inventory. Recovery.

Today I am grateful for service positions. Teas, setting up, literature, treasury, GSR, secretary, chairs, extended shares. Service.

Today I am grateful for picking up the phone. Helping the newcomer, those struggling or simply connecting with another. Service.

Today I am grateful for passing on the message. Giving back what was once freely given. Service.

Gratitude List 26/03/2019: Spec-tacular

Gratitude List 26/03/2019

I’m seeing life differently these days. Through recovery I seem to have acquired a new set of eyes. I should’ve gone to Specsavers a long time ago!

Today I am grateful I can see change.

Today I am grateful beauty does not pass me by.

Today I am grateful I see an opportunity not to be missed.

Today I am grateful I can see the good in all people.

Today I am grateful I see less red mist.

Today I am grateful I can see a future. God willing.

Today I am grateful I see the moment.

Today I am grateful I have the courage to look within.

Today I am grateful I can see progression.

Today I am grateful I see with less judgement.

Today I am grateful I can see things for what they are.

Today I am grateful I can see.

Gratitude List 21/03/2019: Right this second

Gratitude List 21/03/2019

Right this second I am tired. I have another long day ahead of me. I’m fighting the urge to eat a crappy breakfast. I have a few niggling fears. I can’t be bothered. It’s cold. It’s grey. Yes I am a little grumpy!

But…

Right this second I am grateful for all the seconds in my day. If need be, each one is an opportunity to change my direction, flip my mood, look with different eyes and bring a smile to my face.

Right this second I am grateful to have the knowledge and tools to lift my spirits.

Right this second I am grateful to be alive.

Right this second I am grateful to be abstinent from my compulsions.

Right this second I am grateful to be in recovery.

Right this second I am grateful to be in good health.

Right this second I am grateful to be on my way to a job.

Right this second I am grateful to have a home to return to.

Right this second I am grateful to be able to walk, talk, taste, feel, smell, hear and see.

Right this second I am grateful to have food in the cupboard, water on tap, money in my pocket and clothes on my back.

Right this second I am grateful to be sane and growing in serenity.

Right this second I am grateful to have a Higher Power in my life.

Right this second I am grateful to be writing this list. It has the power to change my mood.

Right this second I am grateful to be grateful.

Gratitude List 17/03/2019: Courage

Gratitude List 17/03/2019

Courage

Every morning, night and many times in between I say the serenity prayer. Within the prayer I pray for the courage to change the things I can. Today I can reflect on my days and see when I have used courage. Today I can be a courageous person. I’m very grateful because a few years ago I had zero courage, I instead lived in crippling fear.

Today I am grateful I have the courage to admit when I am powerless over people, places and things.

Today I am grateful I have the courage to ask for help. Something I only did through manipulation.

Today I am grateful I have the courage to hand my will over to a greater power. A power I cannot see, hear or touch.

Today I am I have the courage to be honest. I used to fear the consequences of telling the truth.

Today I have the courage to say no when the time is right to do so. I used to hate the thought of letting people down.

Today I am grateful I have the courage to speak in public. Through sharing with like minded people I have I have found self-confidence.

Today I am grateful I have the courage to look into my past and learn from it. I had surpressed my past and I needed the courage to look deep and unlock it.

Today I am grateful I have the courage to be vulnerable. Putting my past and my emotions on the table without fear of being judged.

Today I am grateful I have the courage to take a leap of faith into the unknown. To be guided by people or powers who know better.

Gratitude List 12/03/2019: Good People

Gratitude List 12/03/2019

There are so many good people in this world. People who, in their own way, do their bit to make life worth living. People who go that extra mile to do their bit for human kind.

Today I am grateful for their selfless attitude.

Today I am grateful for their commitment, effort and service.

Today I am grateful for the experience, strength and hope they share.

Today I am grateful for the motivation and inspiration I get when I listen to their stories.

Today I am grateful for the smile they bring to my face.

Today I am grateful for their kindness and love.

Today I am grateful for the friendliness and unity.

Today I am grateful for their acceptance, courage and wisdom.

Today I am grateful for their evident serenity and spiritual health.

Today I am grateful for their faith in a power greater than themselves.

Today I am grateful for their happiness.

Today I am grateful for their ability to change.

Today I am grateful they give me the desire to be a good person too.