Gratitude List 21/03/2019: Right this second

Gratitude List 21/03/2019

Right this second I am tired. I have another long day ahead of me. I’m fighting the urge to eat a crappy breakfast. I have a few niggling fears. I can’t be bothered. It’s cold. It’s grey. Yes I am a little grumpy!

But…

Right this second I am grateful for all the seconds in my day. If need be, each one is an opportunity to change my direction, flip my mood, look with different eyes and bring a smile to my face.

Right this second I am grateful to have the knowledge and tools to lift my spirits.

Right this second I am grateful to be alive.

Right this second I am grateful to be abstinent from my compulsions.

Right this second I am grateful to be in recovery.

Right this second I am grateful to be in good health.

Right this second I am grateful to be on my way to a job.

Right this second I am grateful to have a home to return to.

Right this second I am grateful to be able to walk, talk, taste, feel, smell, hear and see.

Right this second I am grateful to have food in the cupboard, water on tap, money in my pocket and clothes on my back.

Right this second I am grateful to be sane and growing in serenity.

Right this second I am grateful to have a Higher Power in my life.

Right this second I am grateful to be writing this list. It has the power to change my mood.

Right this second I am grateful to be grateful.

Gratitude List 17/03/2019: Courage

Gratitude List 17/03/2019

Courage

Every morning, night and many times in between I say the serenity prayer. Within the prayer I pray for the courage to change the things I can. Today I can reflect on my days and see when I have used courage. Today I can be a courageous person. I’m very grateful because a few years ago I had zero courage, I instead lived in crippling fear.

Today I am grateful I have the courage to admit when I am powerless over people, places and things.

Today I am grateful I have the courage to ask for help. Something I only did through manipulation.

Today I am grateful I have the courage to hand my will over to a greater power. A power I cannot see, hear or touch.

Today I am I have the courage to be honest. I used to fear the consequences of telling the truth.

Today I have the courage to say no when the time is right to do so. I used to hate the thought of letting people down.

Today I am grateful I have the courage to speak in public. Through sharing with like minded people I have I have found self-confidence.

Today I am grateful I have the courage to look into my past and learn from it. I had surpressed my past and I needed the courage to look deep and unlock it.

Today I am grateful I have the courage to be vulnerable. Putting my past and my emotions on the table without fear of being judged.

Today I am grateful I have the courage to take a leap of faith into the unknown. To be guided by people or powers who know better.

Gratitude List 12/03/2019: Good People

Gratitude List 12/03/2019

There are so many good people in this world. People who, in their own way, do their bit to make life worth living. People who go that extra mile to do their bit for human kind.

Today I am grateful for their selfless attitude.

Today I am grateful for their commitment, effort and service.

Today I am grateful for the experience, strength and hope they share.

Today I am grateful for the motivation and inspiration I get when I listen to their stories.

Today I am grateful for the smile they bring to my face.

Today I am grateful for their kindness and love.

Today I am grateful for the friendliness and unity.

Today I am grateful for their acceptance, courage and wisdom.

Today I am grateful for their evident serenity and spiritual health.

Today I am grateful for their faith in a power greater than themselves.

Today I am grateful for their happiness.

Today I am grateful for their ability to change.

Today I am grateful they give me the desire to be a good person too.

Gratitude List 02/03/2019: Change

Gratitude List 02/03/2019

Change

Today I am grateful change is possible.

Today I am grateful for the inspiration I get from witnessing change in others.

Today I am grateful for the changes I have gone through.

Today I am grateful for the changes people have seen in me.

Today I am grateful that due to the convincing masks I used to hide behind, I am aware the changes people see in me are more subtle.

Today I am grateful I have a desire to continue to change.

Today I am grateful I know how to change more.

Today I am grateful past successes give me faith in the ability to change more.

Today I am grateful my outlook on life has changed.

Today I am grateful I can change the direction of my mood, my day my life.

Gratitude List 28/02/2019: Definition of a Mature Person Part Four

Gratitude List 28/02/2019

Definition of a Mature Person Part Four

Also see part 1, part 2 and part 3

15. We are not chronic “fault finders”?

Today I am grateful I am not a chronic fault finder. Well at least I think I’m not. Because I now tend to see the good in people and situations, I rarely speak out loud about it. Fault finding tends to be something I keep in my mind, but even that is a rare occurrence. I’m also grateful for the awareness to not be a chronic fault finder when it comes to myself.

16. We plan things in advance rather than trusting in the inspiration of the moment?

Today I am grateful this is getting much better. I was awful at planning. I’d even go as far as saying I didn’t plan at all. I think I was so scared of my future which was once so uncertain. I took ‘trusting the inspiration of the moment’ to a whole new level! I am aware of the fine line between planning and taking my own will back. But through my higher power (and my incredibly organised girlfriend) I find myself more prepared than ever before.

In terms of spiritual maturity:

l. We have faith in a Higher Power?

Yes yes yes! Today I am humbly grateful I have a Higher Power! To say this is vital to my own recovery is an understatement. It grew from a willingness, to a belief, to a faith. Letting go of control is a true blessing. Every time I let go my faith is enhanced by the results that come my way. There’s no better way to find a faith than to take a leap of faith.

2. We feel an organic part of mankind as a whole, contributing our part to each group of which we are a member?

Today I am grateful I do feel part of mankind, especially when I’m spiritually well. Addiction was such a lonely place. Even when I was surrounded by people I (a) felt lonely and (b) craved to be alone and left to my own desires. I also contribute to the many groups I belong to much more than ever before, whether it be the fellowship, my family, my friends, my colleagues. I care little if anyone else does, as long as I do my bit. I do want to contribute a little more to my community, that is an area for improvement.

3. We obey the spiritual essence of the Golden Rule: “Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself?”

Today I am grateful I have learnt to love myself. I am proud of who I am becoming. I have a growing spirituality in my life. Now I love myself I can now love those around me.

People Pleasing

Gratitude List 24/01/2019

People pleasing and the serenity prayer.

I’ve always been a people pleaser and I’ve realised this is predominantly because I want to be a good person. But sometimes it’s based on a fear of letting people down. Like so many other things the serenity prayer seems to fit perfectly. When faced with this particular fear, I have asked my greater power for guidance through the serenity prayer. In return my greater power has directed me to the following three steps which have helped me hugely.

First Step – ACCEPT. In my experience, something must’ve happened for the fear to be created – examples are running late for an appointment due to traffic or being put in a difficult situation, either by myself or another, whereby someone’s values will be challenged. Whatever it is, it’s in the past and therefore I have to accept it for what it is – I cannot change it.

Second Step – CHANGE. From that point, I ask ‘is there anything I can change?’ First and foremost I can always put my fear down on paper, pray and hand it over to my greater power. If I’ve been guided towards further action, then while I’m on my knees I can pray for the required courage. Any following action needs to be within spiritual lines, there’s no point taking the easy way out with an insincere act. For example, a lie to cover a lie, or cause harm to another just to save my own neck.

Third Step – ACCEPT. If further action is required, then I need to remind myself I have no control as to how someone reacts to it. It maybe, that despite doing the next right thing, I could upset another. Fearing this could prevent me from doing what I need to. I need to accept the things I cannot change – that includes other people and how they react. I can’t please everyone.

No scenario is the same. Above is just one. When to accept? When to change? It’s never straightforward. That’s why there is so much importance on the prayer itself, I am asking my greater power for some help and willing to wait and listen for the answer through meditation.

Today I am grateful for the wisdom to know the difference.