‘Who are you to say there is no God?’

‘Who are you to say there is no God?’ pg 56 AA’s Big Book

Am I the only one who reads this and thinks of Miracle on 34th Street?

In all seriousness, the ‘We Agnostics’ chapter and in particular this line, provided the foundation to my belief in a greater power than myself. As well as bringing Richard Attenborough’s festive smile to mind, it gave me humility. How egocentric was I for this to have such a profound impact on me? Did I really think I knew everything? I am not the almighty. I am not celestial. I am not all powerful.

And it’s this humility which is the over riding thought when I get on my knees and pray. I have no idea who or what I pray to but I do know its not me. There is plenty of things more powerful and that is enough for me.

Gratitude List 14/03/2019: The world WAS my ego’s oyster.

Gratitude List 14/03/2019

Filling the void is easier said than done. But every time I successfully fill it with something positive, especially when temptation wants to take me in the opposite direction, I am very grateful. I’m grateful because I feel great afterwards instead of feeling crap. I know I’ve reflected on this before, but yesterday it happened again.

After work I had a little under 2 hours to myself before my girlfriend came home. Out of nowhere, my mind began to fill with all the things I could do and none were positive – eat junk food, watch trash TV, watch pornography, flick through social media – the world was my ego’s oyster.

Today I am grateful I did something I could have easily procrastinated until the following day. It needed to be done and now it doesn’t.

Today I am grateful I walked home from the station instead of getting on the bus. This gave me time to reflect on my day, clear my mind and appreciate my surroundings.

Today I am grateful I called and connected with fellows. The timing of a call back inspired me to walk past the chippy. No such thing as coincidence!

Today I am grateful I I put the washing away. A job I dislike a lot. But I did it with no expectation of a thank you. It did go unnoticed and I’m happy about that.

Today I am grateful I sat in the garden and meditated. It felt great to switch off and improve my conscious contact with my greater power.

Today I am grateful I prepared dinner for when my girlfriend got home. Cooking is something I love. I’m no chef but enjoy it, especially cooking for others.

Today I am grateful that before I knew it the void had passed. The success of filling this void will add to the strength I need for next time.

Today I am grateful my girlfriend came home to a spiritually well boyfriend and not one, who because of his misdemeanours, would have been feeling low and very touchy if he was questioned about it.

Gratitude List 09/02/2019: Appreciate

Gratitude List 09/02/2019

What this picture doesn’t show is the young female who moments ago had her arm deep inside the bin only to pull out an empty coffee cup that somebody just discarded. I can only assume it was to beg with as she then joined a young male sitting on the drenched pavement.

What it also doesn’t show is me sitting in a warm and dry coffee shop, still with my thick, waterproof coat on, eating something I really don’t need to be eating.

Today I am grateful I realise how lucky I am and for how much I appreciate what I have.

Today I am grateful that buying them something warm to eat wasn’t an after thought.

Today I am grateful I had a desire to invite them in and get what they wanted so they could sit in the dry. I didn’t, but the thought was there.

Today I am grateful for the few words we shared together. Human being to human being.

Today I am grateful for then meeting an amazing fellow at the tube station across the road. Such a lovely guy.

Today I am grateful the rucksack he was wearing reminded me I’d left my own at the coffee shop.

Today I am grateful for the man who indicated he put my bag behind the counter. There was a lot of important and personal belongings inside.

Today I am grateful for karma.