Gratitude List 01/06/2019

Gratitude List 01/06/2019

0355am Today I am grateful for the early start. Up with the Robin and his morning chorus.

0530am Today I am grateful for my new bottle. I shouldn’t have to buy a new one just to inspire me drink more water – but it’s working.

0745am Today I am grateful I had the sanity to choose porridge over a sausage and bacon baguette.

1235pm Today I am grateful to forst remember and secondly to act upon something that’s been on my mental to-do list for a while.

1436pm Today I am grateful for an overdue honest conversation.

1610pm Today I am grateful I could sit in the garden whilst my daughter was playing and do some step work.

1830pm Today I am grateful for another bbq. At the moment, if it can get bbq’d it is getting bbq’d. Mmmmnnn, porridge for breakfast?

2130pm Today I am grateful for reading with my daughter at bed time. One of my favourite times.

2150pm Today I am grateful for some quality time for my girlfriend, son and I – catching up on Line Of Duty.

2300pm Today I am grateful for another long overdue conversation. One where I used a newly found level of listening.

❤🙏🏻💪🏻😊👍🏻

Gratitude List 07/04/2019: A lovely Sunday

Gratitude List 07/04/2019

I’ve just sat down! Today, I have constantly been on my feet. But I have loved every minute of it!

Today I am grateful I enjoy entertaining. There’s nothing I like more than cooking for everyone.

Today I am grateful the weather was just about worthy of a bbq!

Today I am grateful for having a garden. Something I haven’t had since I was a child. Something I cherish.

Today I am grateful for our home which turned out to be a lovely venue. Despite the extra rooms we all congregated into one!

Today I am grateful for everyone who turned up. No matter how much preparation is done, it’s the people that make a difference.

Today I am grateful for the help of my girlfriend. She is an amazing host and I’m proud to be with her.

Today I am grateful for my kids who are absolute delights. Sometimes I can get wrapped up in trying so hard to see them succeed. This weekend I decided to let go and let them be.

Today I am grateful that my children enjoy staying with us. I know it’s not always the case in our situation.

Today I am grateful for my son, who despite in many ways he can be a stereo typical teenager, he has so many positives and I am very lucky.

Today I am grateful for all the food and drink we had to enjoy. I cannot forget how much of a blessing this is.

Today I am grateful I am doing this list. I could so easily have a nap or put on the TV and relax, but I know how important this is for me and my happiness.

Gratitude List 05/04/2019: Beautiful People

Gratitude List 05/04/2019

With all the negative publicity it’s easy to forget there’s so much good in this world. I’ve spent most of the morning on public transport which can be a testing time in the London rush hour. But today I am grateful to be seeing the good, especially in people.

Today I am grateful for the lovely family we share a commute with almost on a daily basis. The three children are adorable and well behaved. Always by their side, their mother, who you can tell is doing an amazing job.

Today I am grateful for the crowdful of people that accepted the queue into Seven Sisters for what it is – a time to show patience.

Today I am grateful for the tube driver who took the time at each station to personally announce the stop and wish everyone ‘a great day’.

Today I am grateful for the man (who could quite easily be stereotyped in a negative way) that continuously offered his seat up to people less able.

Today I am grateful for the busker at Kings Cross who shared his passion for music. He was having a great time jamming with his accordion!

Today I am grateful for the member of staff at the hospital who enthusiastically bounced through the waiting room carrying a tin with what I can only assume had a home baked cake inside.

Today I am grateful for the lady who held the door open for us. We weren’t exactly close behind her but she held it nevertheless. The simple things.

Today I am grateful for the platform speaker at London Bridge (yes TFL again!) who made everyone smile with his unique way of telling people to ‘mind the doors’.

Today I am grateful for my colleague at work who is absolutely nuts! 100 miles an hour! 25 hours a day! But he’s always got a smile on his face! He may not love his job, but he loves life!

The line

Gratitude List 23/01/2019

Today I am grateful for poems like this…

Every minute someone leaves this world behind.

Age has nothing to do with it.

We are all in this the line without realizing it.

We never know how many people are before us. We can not move to the back of the line.

We can not step out of the line.

We can not avoid the line.

So while we wait in line –

Make moments count.

Make a difference.

Make the call.

Make priorities.

Make the time.

Make your gifts known.

Make a nobody feel like a somebody.

Make your voice heard.

Make the small things big.

Make someone smile.

Make the change.

Make yourself a priority.

Make love.

Make up.

Make peace.

Make sure to tell your people they are loved.

Make waves.

Make sure to have no regrets.

Less vulnerable

Gratitude List 22/01/2019

When I look back at the person I once was, it’s not surprising I did some of the things I did. I was riddled with defects – dishonesty, resentment, fear, intolerance, discontentment, courseness, irritability, lustfulness, laziness, arrogance, impatience, selfishness, self-centeredness etc etc etc the list goes on and on. Of course I had strengths of character too, but they were overwhelmed by the defects that were being empowered by my ego and controlled by my self-will. As a result I was very vulnerable to a number of negative reactions.

Through working the recovery program I have learnt how to lessen my defects and strengthen my strengths. Through practicing the principles in my daily life, having faith in a greater power and completing some simple suggestions I gain spirituality. I am improving as a person and that spirituality surrounds me like an invisible forcefield. This, along with the strengths of character that now play a more significant role in my life, I am less vulnerable to my negative reactions that more often than not, used to harm me and others.

Today I am grateful I am less vulnerable to relapsing.

Today I am grateful I am less vulnerable to unnecessarily snapping at my kids.

Today I am grateful I am less vulnerable to telling a lie.

Today I am grateful I am less vulnerable to people pleasing.

Today I am grateful I am less vulnerable to fear and resentment.

Today I am grateful I am less vulnerable to being arrested for a dishonest act.

Today I am grateful I am less vulnerable to acting out on my lustful thoughts.

Today I am grateful I am less vulnerable to living on the streets.

Today I am grateful I am less vulnerable to going insane.

Today I am grateful I am less vulnerable to self harm or suicide.

The last couple of years in recovery have proven I cannot take my foot off the pedal in terms of my recovery. If I do I simply become vulnerable to all of the above and I do not want any of them anymore!

Morals

Gratitude List 21/01/2019

Morals – ‘standards of behaviour; principles of right and wrong.’

I once lived very few morals. Its not like I purposely went about life without them, it was more a case of having very little awareness. Going through the ‘Who Am I?’ book educated me. It taught me about the strengths and defects of character I possess and the morals behind them.

I am not a Saint nor will I ever be, but when I practice good morals, it makes me feel good, and when I act with bad morals it makes me feel bad. It’s as simple as that. So knowing what I should be doing and what I shouldn’t hugely benefits my recovery.

Today I am grateful I am aware it’s morally right to love. Thanks to this awareness I strive to express love as much as possible and forgive as soon as I can.

Today I am grateful I am aware it’s morally wrong to gossip and talk behind someone’s back. Thanks to this awareness I strive to not partake.

Today I am grateful I am aware it’s morally right to see the good in people. Thanks to this awareness I will remind myself when I’m only seeing the bad.

Today I am grateful I am aware it’s morally wrong to act like a complete hooligan when watching football. Thanks to this awareness I strive to just enjoy the beautiful game.

Today I am grateful I am aware it’s morally right to be tolerant. Thanks to this awareness I strive to take a deep breath, remain calm and let it go.

Today I am grateful I am aware it’s morally wrong to watch pornography and look at women in a lustful way in the street. Thanks to this awareness I strive to treat women with more respect.

Today I am grateful I am aware it’s morally right to be honest. Thanks to this awareness I strive to tell the truth, be sincere and omit nothing.

Today I am grateful I am aware it’s morally wrong to blame and judge people. Thanks to this awareness I strive to remain humble and accept people for who they are.

Today I am grateful I am aware it’s morally right to show gratitude towards the things I have. Thanks to this awareness I strive to expect nothing.

My reactions

Gratitude List 20/01/2019

How I react to life determines the effect it has on me. At this very moment, things are occurring and I am reacting. My reactions are determining my current emotions.

Today I am grateful I react to things that could scare me by facing those fears, writing and sharing about them, action and prayer.

Today I am grateful I react to things that lead to projection and thinking the worse by practicing mindfulness and gratitude.

Today I am grateful I react to things that worry me by accepting the things I cannot change.

Today I am grateful I react to things that cause resentment by looking at the harm its caused me, where I was to blame and some action.

Today I am grateful I react to things that cause me pain by remaining humble and using my courage to seek help and guidance.

Today I am grateful I react to things that stress me out by taking a deep breath, staying calm and reminding myself of the serenity prayer.

Today I am grateful I react to things I want to procrastinate by just doing them and remembering how good it feels when I do and how bad it feels when I don’t.

Today I am grateful I react to things that tempt me by connecting with a power that is greater than me and doing something I know will strengthen that connection.

Today I am grateful I react to things that could lead to self pity by looking around at what I have and where I have come from.

With hindsight

Gratitude List 19/01/2019

It occured to me recently that a lot of what I enjoy in my life today is due to my past actions. That’s obvious, you may think and that would be true. I didn’t suddenly grasp happiness, serenity and hope from thin air did I?

Most of these actions were given to me as suggestions. Suggestions to recover. Suggestions that have been proven to work. Despite this, I met each suggestion with scrutiny, some I even resented. But something deep inside my conscience told me to take a leap of faith and just do them, no questions asked. Maybe it was the gift of desperation I had at that very moment? The fact I would try anything to make me feel better.

Today I am grateful I call my sponsor. With hindsight I have come to realise I have been practicing honesty and humility as I share my difficulties and humbly ask for guidance.

Today I am grateful I am grateful I read recovery based literature. With hindsight I have come to realise my knowledge surrounding my illness has been growing. The words have also played a major role in my current motivation and inspiration.

Today I am grateful I do these lists. With hindsight I have come to realise that gratitude has been replacing expectations which has led to increased happiness and serenity.

Today I am grateful I attend regular meetings and take up service positions. With hindsight I have come to realise that service and unity are absolute key components in the solution to my illness. Togetherness has been replacing isolation.

Today I am grateful I pick up the phone and call other fellows. With hindsight I have come to realise that thinking of others is a great way to take me out of self. I have been practicing selflessness.

Today I am grateful I do daily inventories. With hindsight I have come to realise the prompting questions highlight my shortcomings. Again, I get to practice honesty and in return I have been gaining humility and content for my evening prayer.

Today I am grateful I pray and meditate. With hindsight I have come to realise my connection has grown from willingness, to belief, to faith.

Each benefit I get from doing these suggestions has enabled me to grow within spiritual lines. It’s this spiritual growth that will prevent me from a relapse, keep me grateful, make me a better person and allow me enjoy life.

What a turnaround

Gratitude List 17/01/2019

Sometimes I feel so blessed to have found recovery I need to pinch myself. I was in a really bad place not even three years ago. Everything that could go wrong, either had done or was in the process of doing so. I can’t quite believe how much my life has turned around. Thanks to the fellowships and the twelve step program things have drastically changed.

I hasten to add that things aren’t perfect but the contrast is clear.

Today I am grateful I have come from hopeless to hopeful.

Today I am grateful I have come from alone to together.

Today I am grateful I have come from pain to joy.

Today I am grateful I have come from afraid to serenity.

Today I am grateful I have come from desperate to calm.

Today I am grateful I have come from shame to self esteem.

Today I am grateful I have come from resentment to forgiveness.

Today I am grateful I have come from expectation to gratitude.

Today I am grateful I have come from judgement to acceptance.

Today I am grateful I have come from arrogance to humility.

In short I once was a hopeless, expectant, fearful, resentful, judgemental, ashamed, desperate, arrogant man who was suffering in pain alone.

I wish I was exaggerating but I’m not.

Today my life is filled with self-esteem, hope, serenity, calmness, humility, acceptance, togetherness, forgiveness, joy and gratitude.

Happy birthday mum

Gratitude List 16/01/2019

One of my biggest regrets as an addict was the many times I chose to be in action instead of spending time with my mum at the hospice. I loved her like no other and I knew she didn’t have long, but my decision to spend my spare time acting out was rarely swayed. After she died, my ego wouldn’t allow me to admit and face what I had done. It took almost eleven years, and a fearless step 4, for me to finally unlock those few months I had surpressed so securely to the back of my mind.

Today I am grateful that this ‘was’ and not ‘is’ one of my biggest regrets. Step 4 also taught me how to forgive myself. I’m also grateful I have learnt how to use my past as a tool to better the person I am today.

Today is my mum’s birthday and today I am grateful that when she comes to mind (which is more often than ever before) I am not suffering with shame, regret and guilt. Instead I can now reflect upon our time together with gratitude, love and acceptance.

My spiritual growth means I now feel very connected with my mum, I genuinely feel her presence. When she was alive, she was always a source of inspiration, support and guidance. Today, in a different way, I am grateful she remains to be one of my greater powers.