Gratitude List 22/02/2019: Greater Powers

Gratitude List 22/02/2019

I hope this makes sense…. There’s a point in there somewhere…

Came to believe in power greater than myself. The second step in the program and one I used to stumble on.

Step one was far easier – admitting I was powerless over my addiction and that my life had become unmanageable. But by completing step one, hadn’t I already acknowledged a power greater than myself – my addiction? I’m not suggesting that anyone should hand their lives over to their compulsions, that’s what got me into trouble in the first place. But what of the polar opposite – recovery? In my own experience recovery has overpowered my addiction, it is stronger. Therefore the concept of ‘recovery’ can definitely be one of my greater powers. Recovery is a God of my own understanding. Like my addiction, recovery has given me experiences I never thought possible, so making a decision to turn my will over to the concept of ‘recovery’ is an easy choice and one I have faith in.

My addiction is but one of the many things I can struggle with. My life was unmanageable because of them. Each of them can overpower me if my spiritual connection is low. But today I am grateful for the fact that every negative has an opposite which is positive and even more powerful. I am therefore, surrounded by things that are more powerful than me.

Where there’s addiction there is recovery.

Where there is insanity there is sanity.

Where there is fear there is serenity.

Where there is isolation there is unity.

Where there is self there is selfless.

Where there is dishonesty there is sincerity.

Where there is arrogance there is humility.

Where there’s hate there is love.

Where there is a rock bottom there is hope.

Where there is death there is life.

I would happily get down on my knees and pray to any of them. And do it with a faith that help will come.

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Gratitude List 11/02/2019: Fear Less

Gratitude List 11/02/2019

I feel a case of deja-vu! I’m sure I’ve written about this before (even the title) but it’s something I’m very grateful for.

I really feel like I’m living a new life. A second chance. Two lifetimes in one. To most, my life on the outside would seem very much the same. How it feels on the inside though is completely different. One of the biggest differences is the fear. It’s not like fear doesn’t exist in my life now, but in comparison I feel as free as a bird!

Today I am grateful I’m in less fear when a company do a credit check on me.

Today I am grateful I’m not in fear when my bill due dates are up and coming.

Today I am grateful I fear much less speaking in public.

Today I am grateful I do not fear getting through the day. Today I am grateful I do not fear a relapse.

Today I am grateful I’m in less fear when my phone rings. I don’t have to have it on silent and face down anymore.

Today I am grateful I’m not in fear when I see post on our doorstep.

Today I am grateful I no longer fear being inadequate.

Today I am grateful I fear less being honest and open. A tough one as this fear was so ingrained. Definitely getting better though.

Today I am grateful I’m in less fear when it comes to letting someone down. I never intend to do so, but it is inevitable.

Today I am grateful I’m aware I still fear being late. The consequences are NEVER that bad. One I need to hand over again.

Today I am grateful I do not fear being caught.

Today I am very grateful I am not in fear about my future.

Gratitude List 09/02/2019: Appreciate

Gratitude List 09/02/2019

What this picture doesn’t show is the young female who moments ago had her arm deep inside the bin only to pull out an empty coffee cup that somebody just discarded. I can only assume it was to beg with as she then joined a young male sitting on the drenched pavement.

What it also doesn’t show is me sitting in a warm and dry coffee shop, still with my thick, waterproof coat on, eating something I really don’t need to be eating.

Today I am grateful I realise how lucky I am and for how much I appreciate what I have.

Today I am grateful that buying them something warm to eat wasn’t an after thought.

Today I am grateful I had a desire to invite them in and get what they wanted so they could sit in the dry. I didn’t, but the thought was there.

Today I am grateful for the few words we shared together. Human being to human being.

Today I am grateful for then meeting an amazing fellow at the tube station across the road. Such a lovely guy.

Today I am grateful the rucksack he was wearing reminded me I’d left my own at the coffee shop.

Today I am grateful for the man who indicated he put my bag behind the counter. There was a lot of important and personal belongings inside.

Today I am grateful for karma.

Gratitude List 08/02/2019: Spiritual habits

Gratitude List 08/02/2019

My life thus far has created my lifestyle and within my lifestyle there are many things I do on a daily basis out of habit and not necessarily because I want to. Life is like that. I brush my teeth because its good for their health, I go to work because of the income and security, I’ve done exams to further my education and qualifications. I didn’t do these things because of the joy I got in return, I did them because in there own individual way, they are good for me.

Recovery has taught me how my spiritual health is good for me. Very good for me. I’ve learnt there are many things I can do on a daily basis that that will enhance my spirituality. Most of the time I want to do these things because I enjoy them and I feel fantastic afterwards. But I am only human and my list today reflects on the things that like brushing my teeth have become habitual. If I only did things when there was a desire, I wouldn’t get much done.

Today I am grateful that prayer is becoming a habit.

Today I am grateful that meditation is becoming a habit.

Today I am grateful that being honest is becoming a habit.

Today I am grateful that connecting with others is becoming a habit.

Today I am grateful that being selfless is becoming a habit.

Today I am grateful that reading recovery based literature is becoming a habit.

Today I am grateful that being considerate, humble, forgiving and loving are becoming habits.

Today I am grateful that doing things I enjoy is becoming a habit.

Today I am grateful that sharing and listening are becoming habits.

Today I am grateful that practicing gratitude is becoming a habit.

Gratitude List 06/02/2019: My purpose in life

Gratitude List 06/02/2019

Gratitude List 06/02/2019

For so long did I get up each day and just exist. Wander around, do what was expected of me, feed my compulsions, sleep and repeat. I had zero purpose, no goals, no aims and no ambition. Today I am grateful I have found my purpose in life. As the days go by, my purpose in life evolves and progresses alongside my recovery.

Today I am grateful I intend to go out and be the best person I can be.

To seek gratitude at all times, even during difficulties.

To do what is morally right.

To listen to people when they speak.

To remain teachable and open-minded.

To work as hard as I can.

To put in the diligent effort.

To love as much as I can.

To serve and give back to those who have helped me.

To do my bit for the unity. To connect with the people in my life.

To work the program to the best of my abilities.

To use tolerance and consideration when behaviours go against my values.

To be aware and honest with my own behaviours and action, promptly admitting when I’m wrong.

To set a good example to my children.

To improve my conscious contact with God as I understand Him.

To pass on the same message of recovery that was freely given to me.

Gratitude List 05/02/2019: The Simple Things

Gratitude List 05/02/2019

When recovery becomes such a big part of one’s life, its hard not to include it within a gratitude list. Well it is for me. Today I will express in words the simple things I should be grateful for on a daily basis.

Today I am grateful for my living body – my beating heart, functioning organs, pumping blood, breathing lungs and active brain.

Today I am grateful for senses – my sight, touch, smell, taste and my hearing.

Today I am grateful for the possibilities, opportunities, choices and my abilities and freedom to take advantage of them.

Today I am grateful I can be at peace and sleep well. (the one question I answered ‘no’ to)

Today I am grateful for the food in the cupboards and the water I have on tap.

Today I am grateful for my job – the income, the security, the knowledge, the skills and the camaraderie.

Today I am grateful for my home sweet home – my dry bed, the hearing, the hot water, the comfort, the memories.

Today I am grateful for the people I have in my life – my children, my girlfriend, my family, my friends, my colleagues, the bus driver and the people I pass on the street.

Today I am grateful for my upbringing – my education, the love, the support, the guidance, the safety, the memories.

Today I am grateful for my life and the lessons its taught me so far.

Today I am grateful for my characteristics, in particular honesty, tolerance, consideration, selflessness and unity.

Today I am grateful for my emotions – in particular love, forgiveness, empathy, serenity and happiness.

Today I am grateful for my greater powers – their support, their guidance, their direction, their strength, their power, my open-mindedness, my willingness, my belief, my faith.

Today I am grateful for life. An absolute miracle that surrounds me and my world.

I could go on and on….. And yes, without recovery I wouldn’t have acknowledged any of this. So recovery has made it again! 😉

Gratitude List 31/01/2019: Moving forward

Gratitude List 31/01/2019

In contrast to the deterioration of my past, my life is now heading in the right direction.

Today I am grateful as time goes by my defects are playing a lesser role in my life.

Today I am grateful as time goes by my strengths are playing a bigger role.

Today I am grateful as time goes by my spirituality is growing.

Today I am grateful as time goes by my ego is taking a bashing.

Today I am grateful as time goes by my financial situation is settling.

Today I am grateful as time goes by my fears are lessening in frequency and strength.

Today I am grateful as time goes by my desire to improve further is more consistent.

Today I am grateful as time goes by I am becoming more aware.

Today I am grateful as time goes by I am making more of a diligent effort.

Today I am grateful as time goes by my relationships are improving.

Today I am grateful as time goes by I resent fewer people.

Today I am grateful as time goes by I am becoming more humble.

Today I am grateful as time goes by my faith in a higher power is getting stronger.

Today I am grateful as time goes by my defence against acting out is becoming more powerful.

Today I am grateful as time goes by I am living more in the moment.

Today I am grateful as time goes by I am not assuming the worse case scenario.

Today I am grateful as time goes by my happiness is lasting longer.

Today I am grateful as time goes by there is more peace in my mind.

Today I am grateful as time goes by I am becoming more hopeful.

Today I am grateful as time goes by I am becoming more grateful.

Today I am grateful as time goes by I am loving life more and more.

Life isn’t perfect, nor will it ever be but the progression is clear. This progression is down to three things – Unity , Service and Recovery. Not forgetting the essential guidance from my greater power.