Gratitude List 17/02/2019: Not going to miss it!

Gratitude List 17/02/2019

A busy day today, hense the lateness of my gratitude list.

Today I am grateful I will not miss a day of expressing gratitude. Doing these lists have meant so much to me and my recovery.

Today I am grateful for this 10 minutes while the dinner is cooking. If I don’t do my list now, I probably won’t get another chance.

Today I am grateful I am not using these 10 minutes to flick through Facebook or Twitter!!

Today I am grateful I enjoy doing these lists. They are non-negotiable but that’s not why I do them.

Today I am grateful for the gratitude lists I have been sent today. Each of them very inspiring and serene to read.

Today I am grateful that this list is already broadening my smile. After this, its dinner and cuddles with my daughter…. And my son if he allows it!

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Gratitude List 12/02/2019: A new life part 2

Gratitude List 12/02/2019

Further to my list yesterday (Fear Less), another big difference between my old life and my new is the level of resentment I have to endure. Again, I am no saint, but when I see resentment in another’s eyes, because of my own experience I can feel their pain. I can feel their suffering, it’s crippling. I’m very grateful I am learning how to deal with resentments – both past and present.

Today I am grateful I no longer resent those who have caused me harm in the past. This was a heavy burden.

Today I am grateful I can better deal with resentments when they arise in my life.

Today I am grateful I rarely resent myself. This was a daily occasion.

Today I am grateful I no longer resent my past.

Today I am grateful I no longer resent the concept of higher powers, God, religion or spirituality.

Today I am grateful for the knowledge that I am the one who suffers if I hold a resentment.

Today I am grateful to know forgiveness is often the answer.

Gratitude List 11/02/2019: Fear Less

Gratitude List 11/02/2019

I feel a case of deja-vu! I’m sure I’ve written about this before (even the title) but it’s something I’m very grateful for.

I really feel like I’m living a new life. A second chance. Two lifetimes in one. To most, my life on the outside would seem very much the same. How it feels on the inside though is completely different. One of the biggest differences is the fear. It’s not like fear doesn’t exist in my life now, but in comparison I feel as free as a bird!

Today I am grateful I’m in less fear when a company do a credit check on me.

Today I am grateful I’m not in fear when my bill due dates are up and coming.

Today I am grateful I fear much less speaking in public.

Today I am grateful I do not fear getting through the day. Today I am grateful I do not fear a relapse.

Today I am grateful I’m in less fear when my phone rings. I don’t have to have it on silent and face down anymore.

Today I am grateful I’m not in fear when I see post on our doorstep.

Today I am grateful I no longer fear being inadequate.

Today I am grateful I fear less being honest and open. A tough one as this fear was so ingrained. Definitely getting better though.

Today I am grateful I’m in less fear when it comes to letting someone down. I never intend to do so, but it is inevitable.

Today I am grateful I’m aware I still fear being late. The consequences are NEVER that bad. One I need to hand over again.

Today I am grateful I do not fear being caught.

Today I am very grateful I am not in fear about my future.

Gratitude List 10/02/2019: Waking a little low

Gratitude List 10/02/2019

Sometimes I wake up feeling a little low. Feeling like there’s something wrong. Am I in fear? Did I say something the night before, something I’m now regretting?

After a short while I reflect on my life, my day, my fears and my resentments. What I realise is there’s nothing wrong at all. My life is good, I have nothing to fear and I’m not suffering with an emotional hangover.

Maybe I awoke listening to Radio Me and all I needed to do was get on my knees and kick-start another day. Did I wake with the spiritual malady intact?

Whatever it is, I really don’t mind. Today I am grateful I am aware of who I am. I am aware that my life is good and I have a lot to be grateful for. I am aware that this is a daily program. I am aware if I don’t do the necessary suggestions then that spiritual malady can manifest throughout the day. Today I am grateful and aware of what I need to do to quickly turn my day around.

Gratitude List 08/02/2019: Spiritual habits

Gratitude List 08/02/2019

My life thus far has created my lifestyle and within my lifestyle there are many things I do on a daily basis out of habit and not necessarily because I want to. Life is like that. I brush my teeth because its good for their health, I go to work because of the income and security, I’ve done exams to further my education and qualifications. I didn’t do these things because of the joy I got in return, I did them because in there own individual way, they are good for me.

Recovery has taught me how my spiritual health is good for me. Very good for me. I’ve learnt there are many things I can do on a daily basis that that will enhance my spirituality. Most of the time I want to do these things because I enjoy them and I feel fantastic afterwards. But I am only human and my list today reflects on the things that like brushing my teeth have become habitual. If I only did things when there was a desire, I wouldn’t get much done.

Today I am grateful that prayer is becoming a habit.

Today I am grateful that meditation is becoming a habit.

Today I am grateful that being honest is becoming a habit.

Today I am grateful that connecting with others is becoming a habit.

Today I am grateful that being selfless is becoming a habit.

Today I am grateful that reading recovery based literature is becoming a habit.

Today I am grateful that being considerate, humble, forgiving and loving are becoming habits.

Today I am grateful that doing things I enjoy is becoming a habit.

Today I am grateful that sharing and listening are becoming habits.

Today I am grateful that practicing gratitude is becoming a habit.

Gratitude List 06/02/2019: My purpose in life

Gratitude List 06/02/2019

Gratitude List 06/02/2019

For so long did I get up each day and just exist. Wander around, do what was expected of me, feed my compulsions, sleep and repeat. I had zero purpose, no goals, no aims and no ambition. Today I am grateful I have found my purpose in life. As the days go by, my purpose in life evolves and progresses alongside my recovery.

Today I am grateful I intend to go out and be the best person I can be.

To seek gratitude at all times, even during difficulties.

To do what is morally right.

To listen to people when they speak.

To remain teachable and open-minded.

To work as hard as I can.

To put in the diligent effort.

To love as much as I can.

To serve and give back to those who have helped me.

To do my bit for the unity. To connect with the people in my life.

To work the program to the best of my abilities.

To use tolerance and consideration when behaviours go against my values.

To be aware and honest with my own behaviours and action, promptly admitting when I’m wrong.

To set a good example to my children.

To improve my conscious contact with God as I understand Him.

To pass on the same message of recovery that was freely given to me.

Gratitude List 02/02/2019: My children ❤️

Gratitude List 02/02/2019

One of my goals in recovery was and is to become a better father to my children.

Today I am grateful I spend less time with my phone in my hand when I’m in their company.

Today I am grateful I take more time to take an interest and help them with their education.

Today I am grateful I show them a lot more tolerance and patience than I used to.

Today I am grateful I am quick to admit when my defects come out and quick to apologise.

Today I am grateful I am not rushing off and either leaving them in the house or the car just so I can feed my addiction.

Today I am grateful I am more open and honest with them.

Today I am grateful I don’t look at them with disappointment. This was a tough one for me to admit.

Today I am grateful I don’t manipulate their feelings into feeling sorry and guilty just so I get what I want.

Today I am grateful I think before I speak. I think about my choice of words and the manner I will speak them.

Today I am grateful our relationships have become closer and more loving. When I tell them I love them, I think they believe me.