Gratitude List 06/06/2019: Transformation

Gratitude List 06/06/2019

Sometimes an experience really highlights how far I’ve come. Rewind a bit and this particular experience would have led to:

– having and instant resentment and a reaction of frustration, arrogance and judgement.
– a phonecall where I would’ve made things much worse.
– me lying awake thinking about all the things I should’ve said and all the proving points I should’ve put across.
– my subsequent mood effecting the loved ones around me who have nothing to do with it.
– an emotional hangover where I wished I hadn’t acted the way I did, whilst simultaneously justifying it.

Today I am grateful my experience wasn’t like the above but instead went something like this….

– first of all, the resentment itself wasn’t too strong – tolerance, consideration, understanding, humility and forgiveness had already kicked into action.
– there seemed to be a buffer in time between the harm and my reaction allowing myself to stay calm and composed.
– I didn’t call and make things worse, guidance came from within to wait until the morning.
– I slept peacefully.
– I awoke in a serene place, no hangover to contend with. Said my prayers asking how I can be of best use to those in my life.
– before I had a chance to call, the call came to me. I let them speak, they said what was needed. I didn’t need to rub it in.
– there was no expectation of an apology. It didn’t come completely. That’s their inventory not mine.

Today I am grateful, as a result:

– I am heading to work with a smile on my face and peace of mind.
– I haven’t made things worse.
– I haven’t made another feel like s**t. My ego could have easily done so.
– I remain connected to both the programme and my greater power which together continue to work miracles.

Today I am grateful for all the things that have made this transformation possible – see yesterday’s list – Not Mine


Gratitude List 22/03/2019: How a single moment has changed my world

Gratitude List 22/03/2019

After yet another buzzing session this morning, my gratitude must reflect on a single moment that occured back in the 1930s.

Today I am grateful that someone suddenly realised that passing on the message to another was essential in his efforts to sustain his own abstinence and recovery. I have no idea why he thought this selfless act was so vital. What if he didn’t have this sudden realisation? What if working the program on a daily basis and his spiritual awakening were enough to keep him from his compulsions? That was a possible scenario wasn’t it? If it had panned out that way, would I even belong to a fellowship? Would I be where I am today, living a life beyond my wildest dreams?

I’d like to believe that this sudden realisation was his God at work, planting a seed of thought which gave him a nudge in the right direction.

What I do know is that thousands upon thousands of people’s lives have changed for the better because of it and I am truly grateful to be one of them. I can confirm that passing on the message to another has proved absolutely vital to my own recovery. There is nothing quite like it. Each session is a truly amazing experience born from a single moment almost 90 years ago.

Everyday, somewhere in the world, another journey into recovery begins. One addict is sitting with another, passing on the same message. As a result, that other person is taking his/her first step. I will be eternally grateful I took mine.

Gratitude List 21/02/2019: Another new chapter

Gratitude List 21/02/2019

Bearing in mind moving is traditionally known as a stressful time, the last couple of days have been a breeze. It’s been very busy but other than that, it’s gone as well as it could have done.

Today I am grateful for the preparation that went into the move. I’ve never been so prepared for anything. My girlfriend and recovery have been my guiding forces.

Today I am grateful for the relationship I have with my girlfriend. I don’t think we’ve argued or disagreed once during the move. Seems like a miracle to me!

Today I am grateful for how everyone pulled together. We had help from my son, brother and my dad. We’re very lucky to have their support.

Today I am grateful the boxes are being unpacked. The place is starting to take shape and already feels like home.

Today I am grateful for having a garden. The coinciding sunshine has meant a few cups of tea have already been enjoyed outside in the fresh air.

Today I am grateful I was able to reassemble the IKEA Pax wardrobe with only a few f-bombs. Another miracle!!

Today I am grateful thing have begun to slow down, allowing me to venture in town to a meeting. Time for some fellowship and unity.