Gratitude List 13/03/2019: Slow down!!

Gratitude List 13/03/2019

Yesterday morning I suddenly realised how impatient I was being. I was undertaking a somewhat innocuous task at the time. From this rather humorous moment I told myself I would make an effort to be more patient for the rest of the day. By doing so, I learnt I am very often in a rush, and for most of the time I have absolutely nothing to rush for.

Today I am grateful I let the microwave reach zero seconds before I took my breakfast out.

Today I am grateful I chewed my food sufficiently before I lifted the spoon again.

Today I am grateful I washed my hands properly.

Today I am grateful I dried my hands completely before wiping them on my jeans.

Today I am grateful I didn’t step into the road just to pass someone ahead of me.

Today I am grateful I waited for the green man.

Today I am grateful I checked the tyre pressures.

Today I am grateful I pulled into the gap and let a car past.

Today I am grateful I undone my laces before I slipped my shoes off.

These aren’t necessarily bad moments, but it did make me chuckle how often I’m impatient. And I do the same things almost everyday. As the day went on, as I resisted the short cuts, I did feel more serene and more present. It occured to me – how can I enjoy the present moment if I’m always eager to move onto the next? Furthermore, my impatience can manifest itself in ways that aren’t so humourous. I’m grateful for this awareness and the tools I have to help me rid myself of them.

Gratitude List 05/03/2019: A days gratitude

Gratitude List 05/03/2019

A days gratitude

Today I am grateful I chose to sit next to someone I recognise on the train to work and interact. My default position would have been to turn, pretend I never saw them and sit at the other end of the carriage.

Today I am grateful I resisted a Greggs or McDonalds breakfast and ate the cereal and fruit that was in my bag.

Today I am grateful I am not procrastinating at work. As a result this means I am currently not stressing about things I need to do.

Today I am grateful I am not living on the streets. I am grateful for this everyday but on cold, wet and windy days it’s more on the forefront of my mind.

Today I am grateful I was there to take a call from a friend who is going through a rough time at the moment.

Today I am grateful I wasn’t rushing around. There were plenty of places I needed to be, but not once did I lose my patience or fear being late. It is what it is.

Today I am grateful I have a space to meditate inside my new home. With door slightly ajar all I can hear is the birds singing.

Today I am grateful I could afford a haircut and look after myself. Recently I’ve been looking a little dishevelled!

Today I am grateful I met up with like-minded people and shared my feelings and how I was getting on.

Today I am grateful I haven’t spent my day with fear and resentment occupying my thinking. Today my thinking is serene.

Today I am grateful I completed my daily suggestions. Suggestions given to me which enhance my spiritual growth.

Gratitude List 26/02/2019: Definition of a Mature Person Part Two.

Gratitude List 26/02/2019

Definition of a Mature Person Part Two. (see part one here Part 1)

5. We meet emergencies with poise?

Today I am grateful this is something I have definitely improved on. For me, I could’ve turned anything into an emergency. I loved to make a mountain out of a molehill! Today, not only do I do not do that, I do seem to be more calm when it comes to pressured situations, including a recent big test.

6. Our feelings are not easily hurt?

Today I am grateful that despite the fact my feelings still get hurt, it’s not as often as before. Sometimes they are hurt easily but when they are, I am aware they shouldn’t be and I can use the tools I’ve gained through recovery to see me through. As a result I respond to any harm (intended or not) so much better than before and less harm is caused in return.

7. We accept the responsibility of our own acts?

Today I am grateful I am quicker to accept responsibility for my acts. Again, I’m no way near perfect but it’s definitely getting better. These days, I tend not to blame everyone else for how I feel. This is hugely down to the fact I learnt where I was to blame in past situations.

8. We have outgrown the “all or nothing” stage, recognising that no person or situation is wholly good or bad and begun to appreciate the Golden Mean?

Today I am grateful I now see the good in people and not only the bad. I used to see so much bad, that even if the good was glaring in my face I would ignore it. This includes the good in myself. As for the Golden Mean, I do feel like I’m living on a more level plane. No more am I riding a corkscrew of a roller-coaster. There’s still ups and downs but it’s more of a caterpillar ride.

9. We are not impatient at unreasonable delays. We have learned that we are not the arbiters of the universe and that we must often adjust to other people and their convenience?

Today I am grateful for my awareness that this needs to be improved. I am still too quick to lose my patience, whether it be with my kids or the traffic. At least I can admit this now and know I’m in the wrong. In the past it was more a case of other people needing to adjust themselves to my convenience. Despite the need for improvement, I’ve come a long way since then.

Gratitude List 02/02/2019: My children ❤️

Gratitude List 02/02/2019

One of my goals in recovery was and is to become a better father to my children.

Today I am grateful I spend less time with my phone in my hand when I’m in their company.

Today I am grateful I take more time to take an interest and help them with their education.

Today I am grateful I show them a lot more tolerance and patience than I used to.

Today I am grateful I am quick to admit when my defects come out and quick to apologise.

Today I am grateful I am not rushing off and either leaving them in the house or the car just so I can feed my addiction.

Today I am grateful I am more open and honest with them.

Today I am grateful I don’t look at them with disappointment. This was a tough one for me to admit.

Today I am grateful I don’t manipulate their feelings into feeling sorry and guilty just so I get what I want.

Today I am grateful I think before I speak. I think about my choice of words and the manner I will speak them.

Today I am grateful our relationships have become closer and more loving. When I tell them I love them, I think they believe me.