How I look at others

Gratitude List 09/01/2019

Through the Recovery Program, I am learning how to look at others completely differently. By doing this, my serenity is less affected by their actions. It is a learning process and there’s a long way to go still but I’m grateful for the progress I have made.

Today I am grateful for how I respond to harm done to me. Rather than letting any resentment drag on and fester, I have the tools to deal with them, and the love to forgive them.

Today I am grateful I consider that no one is perfect, nor should I expect them to be so. As such, each person has their own challenges and only they can tackle them.

Today I am grateful I see the good in people. Yes, I often see the bad too but at least there is now a positive counter balance. I try to remind myself of their qualities when I’m seeing their defects. Not easy in the heat of the moment, but it works for me.

Today I am grateful I accept that others are entitled to their opinion and it doesn’t need to be the same as mine. Right or wrong, I don’t need to offer mine in return.

Today I am grateful that I am not envious of the the ‘Mr Perfects’ of the world. In total contrast to me reacting with a good ‘piss take’ I am now genuinely happy for them. Instead, they inspire and motivate me.

Today I am grateful I am trying to stop controlling how others think, behave and act. I do a terrible job controlling my own life, why would I want to control anyone else’s?

Today I am grateful I accept that someone’s values do not have to match my own. I’ve realised (through my sponsor) that many disagreements, arguments and subsequent resentments are formed as a result of values clashing. Values are important to people and I have to learn to respect them.

Today I am grateful I am learning that I cannot and do not have to please everyone all of the time. The fear of letting people down is slowly but surely playing a lesser role in my life. My very next step may not please everyone and I’m learning that’s ok. I no longer fear being honest and as a result do less harm.


At the very least

Gratitude List 05/04/2018

A continuation of my thinking yesterday. I am currently feeling really grateful at the moment and it’s bringing an abundance of serenity. The words gratitude, privilege, respect, appreciate and phrases like ‘at the very least’ are following me around and I’m loving it.

Company. I’m so often not present when accompanied. There are many people who are alone and would love nothing more than to have a chat. Yes, I could go chat to these people myself but I can’t chat to everyone. ‘At the very least’ I can respect this privilege by making the most of the time I am with people.

My body/health. Something I take for granted on a daily basis. Not 24 hours a day but it definitely could be better. Again, there are many people who are suffering with their health and would love to be as well as I currently am. I have no control over anyone’s health but ‘at the very least’ I can appreciate my own health by doing what I can to look after my body. As a bonus, this way of thinking is giving me strength when tempted by a cake or fast food and is inspiring me to get my trainers on!

Nature. I am very lucky to live in a city with so many parks, woods, trails etc. And within these there is beauty and life everywhere, no matter what the season. Whether it be the trees, flowers, birds, insects, fish, rivers, brooks, lakes, hills etc. ‘At the very least’ I can visit these places often, appreciate the beauty, enjoy the views, take an interest and breathe in the fresh air.

My senses. I woke up this morning with all my senses intact. Some people haven’t and some never have. I have no power to change anyone’s circumstances, including my own in respect to senses. ‘At the very least’ I will try to not take them for granted, but instead appreciate every beautiful thing I see, every laughter I hear, every bite I taste, every scent I smell and every cuddle I feel.

My recovery. I feel truly blessed to be in recovery. There are thousands, if not millions out there suffering not knowing there is an answer. I know, I was one of them. It is down to the person to find the courage and seek help. I have to accept I cannot push them into something they are not ready for. ‘At the very least’ I can take advantage of all there is to offer in recovery. All the wisdom, the experience, the literature, the strength, the hope. And put in my maximum effort.

More and Less

Gratitude List 15/03/2018

As I sat in my car this morning I was feeling a little fearful about the future, feeling a little resentful towards someone and as a result feeling a little low. The key word being ‘little’ because I soon asked myself “what am I worrying about?” I realised I have nothing to worry about compared to others less fortunate and compared to what I’ve had to worry about in the past. Not only have my fears and resentments lessened but other parts of my life have progressed in the right direction over the last year. Today I am grateful for my progression.

I am happier more often.

I am more tolerant of others.

I am less selfish.

I am more responsible with money.

I am more honest.

I am less angry.

I have more self-respect.

I am more present.

I waste less time.

I am more at peace.

I have more hope.

‘More’ or ‘less’ I am improving as a person. I am not perfect, I never will be. But I am progressing, and that I accept is all I can do.

I Choose Happiness

Gratitude List 27/02/2018

The choice to tell someone I love them.

The choice not to join in with the banter.

The choice to ask someone how they are doing and then properly listen to their answer.

The choice to not criticise.

The choice to tell someone they have done well.

The choice not to judge.

The choice to tell someone they look well.

The choice to focus on the positives.

The choice to do something for someone – without them asking.

The choice to be unconditionally nice no matter what.

The choice to work on my ‘self’.


What Lies Ahead

Gratitude List 26/02/2018

On this bitterly cold winters day how can I not be grateful for….

My home – the insulated walls breaking the wind, the carpeted floor and the roof over my head. Central heating at the flick of a switch. A large thick duvet. Hot food. (my oven). Hot water. (my kettle, my boiler). My hat, scarf, gloves and coat.

That my hard days aren’t that hard.

That I don’t really have anything to complain about.

That my day has a plan, some structure, some permanence.

That my day is full of possibilities and opportunities.

That I am not alone.

That my day doesn’t solely rely on hope and the help of others.

That I have an idea of what lies ahead.

That I can say with some confidence that I will get through the day.

That I know where I will rest my head tonight.


Gratitude List 25/02/2018

Gratitude for an amazing trip away.

For the perfect travel companion. We share so many interests. Thankfully, she dislikes shopping too!

For being in the sky, amongst the beautiful clouds.

For being closer to the sun. Although its only 38,000 feet closer I believe I can draw more from its undoubted power.

That I am sitting in a miracle of engineering.

The views of the land below, in particular the coastlines and the Pyrénées.

To the time, effort and dedication undertaken by the pilot.

The service and smiles of the staff.

The fact we’re flying from one great city to another.

My upbringing and education along with everyone who has supported me in my life thus far. Without them I’d have no job. Without a job I’d have no money. Without money I wouldn’t be on this flight.