Gratitude List 30/04/2019: Not in control! Phew!

Gratitude List 30/04/2019

The majority of my day is under the control of my work and that will continue to be the case until later this afternoon. In the past, work was one of the very few things that had an element of control me. To be honest, they had less control than they thought!!

Today I am grateful I am letting work dictate what I do.

Today I am grateful that when work doesn’t have full control, it’s because I have given control over to my sponsor or a greater power as I work the steps or do the daily suggestions.

Today I am grateful I am not in control and frantically looking for ways (any way) to get my hands on some money.

Today I am grateful I am not in control and making up excuses as to why I need to leave the office.

Today I am grateful I am not in control and looking around in fear of being seen to enter a bookies.

Today I am grateful I am not in control and running to and from the ATM.

Today I am grateful I am not in control and I don’t have to wear a happy and professional face when I return, pretending everything is okay.

Today I am grateful I am not in control and sitting on the toilet (trousers up) playing online.

Today I am grateful I am not in control and freaking out when I’ve forgot to put my phone on silent.

Today I am grateful I am not in control and creating reasons why I’m still at work when I should be on my way home.

Gratitude List 12/04/2019:

Gratitude List 12/04/2019

A few days ago, the reflection of the day spoke of the stillness of God (as you understand Him). How when I’m restless, I can rely on Him to be still, calm and consistent. I found this to be a very comforting thought. It made me realise how I have and how I can continue to lean on my own understanding of God to get me through life’s ups and downs.

Today I am grateful that when I suffer from fear, I can connect and seek guidance from a power who does not know fear.

Today I am grateful that when I feel resentful, I can connect and seek guidance from a power who only knows love and forgiveness.

Today I am grateful that when I am tempted to be dishonest, I can connect and seek guidance from a power who is only honest.

Today I am grateful that when I lust, I can connect and seek guidance from a power who only thinks clean.

Today I am grateful that when I am intolerant, I can connect and seek guidance from a power who considers and understands.

Today I am grateful that when I don’t know whether to accept or show courage, I can connect and seek guidance from a power who has the wisdom.

Today I am grateful that when I don’t do my best, I can connect and seek guidance from a power who does not judge.

Today I am grateful that when I am faced with challenges, I can connect and seek guidance from a power who has the answers.

Today I am grateful to be able to put these defects in the hands of a greater power that does not suffer with them. A true blessing.

Gratitude List 10/04/2019: Minute by minute

Gratitude List 10/04/2019

07:05am Today I am grateful that my early start means I get half an hour to myself. Enough time to do some suggestions and start my day off on the right foot.

07:40am Today I am grateful I was able to fearlessly be honest with someone. Gratitude must go to the guidance from a greater power.

08:25am Today I am grateful I can afford to treat my son and daughter to breakfast.

09:07am Today I am grateful for the kisses and cuddles goodbye.

09:30am Today I am grateful I remembered to make an important call. Lately I’ve been forgetting to do important things and it makes me look like I don’t care, when I do.

11:47am Today I am grateful I am inside and not outside on this cold and damp day. My prayers go out to those who find themselves living on the streets.

15:05pm Today I am grateful I filled this void by connecting with like minded fellows and meditating a little more than usual.

16:02pm Today I am grateful I reached out and picked up the phone in hope my moment of temptation would pass. Guess what…. It worked! Again!

20:13pm Today I am grateful for Hugo’s hands. 21:34pm Today I am grateful for Sonny’s left foot. 21:51pm Today I am grateful for the referee’s whistle.

23:13pm Today I am grateful I am picturing my children. The thought has brought a smile to my face and warmth to my heart.

Gratitude List 01/04/2019: The simple truth

Gratitude List 01/04/2019

Today I am grateful I accept my addiction for what it is – an illness. Just like some other illnesses, my addiction can never be cured. It will never go away. I have it for life. It will never ease in its potency, instead it will progressively get worse. Will-power alone will never overpower my illness (No matter how hard I try). My illness can and has lead others to insanity, prison and death.

But….

Today I am also grateful there is a solution. A solution that requires diligent effort, but a solution that works. A solution that is watertight. No matter how much my illness progresses, the solution will always be stronger – as long as I work it. How much do I want it? Am I worth it? Damn right I am. Thankfully, within the solution are powers greater than myself, powers stronger than my illness. Powers that can arrest the incurable on a day-to-day basis. Powers that I can rely on if I honestly and humbly seek them. Powers that enable me to live a happy and joyous life despite of my illness. A solution that has worked for thousands and thousands of others. My illness does not need to be cured – I do!

Gratitude List 11/03/2019: ‘These boots are made for walking’…… and these hands are made for feeling.

Gratitude List 11/03/2019

‘These boots are made for walking’…… and these hands are made for feeling.

Today my list reflects on my hands. Not the general use of my hands (although I am deeply grateful) but for the connection I feel.

Today I am grateful for prayer and meditation. When I place my hands together it’s like I’ve dialled in and connected to my greater power. My hands are my gateway to God.

Today I am grateful for holding hands at the end of a meeting. This connection is filled with unity and strength. Whilst united I can draw on this power and play my part in giving back to the flow of incredible energy.

Today I am grateful for holding the hands of my girlfriend and daughter. Through this I can express love more than I ever can with words. Actions speak louder than words.

Today I am grateful for feeling the wind blow through my fingers, the cold biting, the sun warming and the water running. Ever reminding me of nature and the big wide world around me.

Today I am grateful for the warmth and pulse I can feel within my hands. I can sense the activity of life flowing through them. What a power! I sometimes feel like I could lift an X-Wing out of a swamp in the Degobah system.

Today I am grateful for the cleansing feeling from…. yes…. cleaning my hands! It’s like I’m washing away the rubbish, refreshing them and replenishing their power.

Today I am grateful for the simple gestures of sincere support a hug or a simple hand on a shoulder can give to someone in need.

Today I am grateful for feeling my mum’s hand on my shoulder in times when I am in need. A beautiful feeling of love and support.


My daughter and I in Cornwall, UK

Gratitude List 22/02/2019: Greater Powers

Gratitude List 22/02/2019

I hope this makes sense…. There’s a point in there somewhere…

Came to believe in power greater than myself. The second step in the program and one I used to stumble on.

Step one was far easier – admitting I was powerless over my addiction and that my life had become unmanageable. But by completing step one, hadn’t I already acknowledged a power greater than myself – my addiction? I’m not suggesting that anyone should hand their lives over to their compulsions, that’s what got me into trouble in the first place. But what of the polar opposite – recovery? In my own experience recovery has overpowered my addiction, it is stronger. Therefore the concept of ‘recovery’ can definitely be one of my greater powers. Recovery is a God of my own understanding. Like my addiction, recovery has given me experiences I never thought possible, so making a decision to turn my will over to the concept of ‘recovery’ is an easy choice and one I have faith in.

My addiction is but one of the many things I can struggle with. My life was unmanageable because of them. Each of them can overpower me if my spiritual connection is low. But today I am grateful for the fact that every negative has an opposite which is positive and even more powerful. I am therefore, surrounded by things that are more powerful than me.

Where there’s addiction there is recovery.

Where there is insanity there is sanity.

Where there is fear there is serenity.

Where there is isolation there is unity.

Where there is self there is selfless.

Where there is dishonesty there is sincerity.

Where there is arrogance there is humility.

Where there’s hate there is love.

Where there is a rock bottom there is hope.

Where there is death there is life.

I would happily get down on my knees and pray to any of them. And do it with a faith that help will come.

Gratitude List 30/01/2019: ‘I can’t. We can.’

Gratitude List 30/01/2019

‘I can’t. We can.’

I have no idea of the science behind unity or whether there is any. But what is absolutely certain, is it works. Unity is empowering. Through unity I have been able to do things I could never do by myself, no matter how hard I tried, no matter what promises I made, no matter what lives I swore on.

All I have to do to practice unity is complete some simple actions. I can attend meetings with like minded fellows, share my experience, express how I am feeling, listen and relate to others, make phonecalls and meet up. When I look at each individual action, why is it I can gain power through unity? Should listening to someone give me power? Should sitting in a room full of like minded people give me power? I can’t see why they should, but they do!! Not just a bit of power, we are talking about an abundance of power which overpowers my compulsion to my illness. Something I am completely powerless over. Fellowships and their meetings have often been described as being magic and I truly believe that.

Unity, through doing some simple achievable actions has given me power. This power didn’t emulate from myself, but from the unity of the fellowship. If I can gain power from unity then I can gain even more through another greater power that can’t be explained? God perhaps.

Today I am grateful you guys and gals.

Gratitude List 25/01/2019: What do I get?

Gratitude List 25/01/2019

What do I get when I look at this picture?

First and foremost I see an abundance of beauty. I see an array of stunning colours and patterns. Today I am grateful for the blessing of sight.

I see a much greater power than myself. The sun’s energy is clearly evident through it’s heat and light. Powers that I believe I can draw on. Today I am grateful for this connection.

I see that although the colours represent heat, it is bitterly cold outside. Today I am grateful for the warm home this picture was taken from.

I see a miracle that the sun is exactly the right distance away to support life here on Earth. Today I am grateful for this awareness.

I see a reminder that I am but one of billions standing on a planet, amongst thousands of others planets. Today I am grateful for this humility.

I see a city full of opportunities and a freedom to pursue them. In comparison to some, a very safe one too. Today I am grateful I don’t take this for granted.

I see a new dawning, which means I woke up. Today I am grateful to be alive.