Encompassing

Gratitude List 10/01/2019

Today’s reflection spoke of the serenity prayer. It is said that the serenity prayer encompasses all of life’s situations. When I reflect on my day I realise how very true this is.

Today I am grateful I had the serenity to accept people I interacted with for who they are and not try to change them to how I want them to be.

Today I am grateful I had the courage to change the only person I could – Myself.

Today I am grateful I had the wisdom to know the difference.

Today I am grateful I had the serenity to accept who I am. I can’t change my past and where it has led me.

Today I am grateful I had the courage to do my daily suggestions giving me the best chance of progression.

Today I am grateful I had the wisdom to know the difference.

Today I am grateful I had the serenity to accept my financial situation which will be tough for several years to come.

Today I am grateful I had the courage to be financially responsible when I needed to and not spend money unnecessarily.

Today I am grateful I had the wisdom to know the difference.

Today I am grateful I had the serenity to accept I cannot please everyone.

Today I am grateful I had the courage and awareness of my defects so I could do my best.

Today I am grateful I had the wisdom to know the difference.

Today I am grateful I had the serenity to accept that God, as I choose to understand him, is always there for me and always has been.

Today I am grateful I had the courage to improve my conscious contact with God through prayer and meditation.

Today I am grateful I had the wisdom to know the difference.

And lastly….

Today I am grateful I had the serenity to accept I am not perfect and therefore I will not always have the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can or the wisdom to know the difference.

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How I look at others

Gratitude List 09/01/2019

Through the Recovery Program, I am learning how to look at others completely differently. By doing this, my serenity is less affected by their actions. It is a learning process and there’s a long way to go still but I’m grateful for the progress I have made.

Today I am grateful for how I respond to harm done to me. Rather than letting any resentment drag on and fester, I have the tools to deal with them, and the love to forgive them.

Today I am grateful I consider that no one is perfect, nor should I expect them to be so. As such, each person has their own challenges and only they can tackle them.

Today I am grateful I see the good in people. Yes, I often see the bad too but at least there is now a positive counter balance. I try to remind myself of their qualities when I’m seeing their defects. Not easy in the heat of the moment, but it works for me.

Today I am grateful I accept that others are entitled to their opinion and it doesn’t need to be the same as mine. Right or wrong, I don’t need to offer mine in return.

Today I am grateful that I am not envious of the the ‘Mr Perfects’ of the world. In total contrast to me reacting with a good ‘piss take’ I am now genuinely happy for them. Instead, they inspire and motivate me.

Today I am grateful I am trying to stop controlling how others think, behave and act. I do a terrible job controlling my own life, why would I want to control anyone else’s?

Today I am grateful I accept that someone’s values do not have to match my own. I’ve realised (through my sponsor) that many disagreements, arguments and subsequent resentments are formed as a result of values clashing. Values are important to people and I have to learn to respect them.

Today I am grateful I am learning that I cannot and do not have to please everyone all of the time. The fear of letting people down is slowly but surely playing a lesser role in my life. My very next step may not please everyone and I’m learning that’s ok. I no longer fear being honest and as a result do less harm.

Spectacular

Gratitude List 25/07/2018

Today, I was yet again blessed with spectacular views, this time the surroundings of Wasdale Water including England’s tallest mountain Scafell Pike. In the past, if I was able to drag my mind away from my addiction, albeit for just a brief moment, I would have been able to enjoy the sight, sound, and smells of such scenery. Thanks to recovery and practicing meditation (in particular, mindfulness), today I was able to fully take in and appreciate my phenomenal surroundings for a more prolonged time.

Today I am grateful for:

– mindfulness

– my senses

– the present moment

– meditation

– fresh air

– vibrant life

– tranquillity

– colour

– silence

– serenity

– the awe of nature

Good and Bad

Gratitude List 04/06/2018

‘…. all of me, good and bad.’

The above words form part of my nightly prayers and serve as a great reminder of what handing my will over includes. My will doesn’t just include my defects (the things Ive decided I want guidance around), it’s ‘all of me’, including what’s improving and what I perceive to be my strengths. When I recently scored myself marks out of 10 for each characteristic, I never once gave myself top marks. So each night when I hand over my will to my higher power I remember I am giving ‘all of me’ and not just the bad parts.

What I think I’m doing well, I might not be. And if I am, my higher power can guide me to do it even better.

I’ve not exactly been a good judge of what’s right and wrong, what’s good or bad, so today I am very grateful I am also handing over…..

– Love

– Friendliness

– Optimism

– Honesty

– Open-mindedness

– Willingness

– Kindness

– Generosity

– Unity

– Gratefulness

– Tolerance

– ALL OF ME.

The Little Moments

Gratitude List 24/04/2018

On 16th February 2017 my life began to turn around 180 degrees. I turned my back on a life of immaturity, destruction and misery and headed towards a life of love, recovery and hope. In a way, my life has also gone full circle – back to my childhood where I was happily being guided by others and enjoying each moment with very little fear. Have I returned to living in the now? With this new design for living I find myself once more enjoying little moments throughout the day, moments that passed me by because my mind was preoccupied with stinky thinking, moments I’m not going to miss anymore.

Having breakfast with my girlfriend.

Enjoying the company of my family, friends and colleagues.

Learning something new.

Listening to a story.

Laughing at humour.

Tasting good food.

Seeing beauty.

Getting inspired by a share.

Feeling an embrace.

Being there for somebody.

Taking part.

Relaxing by myself.

Connecting with life.

Have a blessed day all

Time is precious

Gratitude List 12/04/2018

One thing I am sure to not get back is the time I have wasted. I have accepted that there is nothing I can do about that. What I can do is my upmost to not waste another minute. Life is indeed precious.

Other than when I sleep I am always doing something. But what is it I am doing? Is what I’m doing productive for me? Or am I just being my old self, the same self that I’m trying to better?

My gratitude list today refers to all the moments of my day where if I chose to, I could choose to do something positive instead of the norm which actually offers me very little. There are many opportunities like this a day in my life!! An example, the other day, like most days I turned on the TV. There was nothing particular on that I fancied watching. The thought (the choice) came into my head, that I could continue, or I could choose to turn the TV off and connect with friends – something I know will give me serenity and happiness. I did 😊. I don’t want to waste any more time! I’m not saying there’s not a time and a place for watching trash TV, but I do have to make more time to work on my recovery. Therefore I am very grateful for the many opportunities I have on a daily basis, for which a few are listed below.

When I’m about to watch Ramsey’s Kitchen Nightmares, or Lizard Licker, or Man Vs Food.

When I’m about to go on Facebook or Twitter for the tenth time in the last hour.

When I’m about to check my emails – again!

When I’m about to instigate a conversation with someone I know I shouldn’t.

When I’m about to say something that will tie-up the next half hour with an argument.

When I’m about to unnecessarily moan at my kids.

When I’m about to indulge in some junk food on the sofa.

When I’m about to online shop.