Gratitude List 27/04/2019: Falling Short

Gratitude List 27/04/2019

“Suppose we fall short of the chosen ideal and stumble? Does this mean we are going to get drunk? Some people tell us so. But this is only a half-truth. It depends on us and on our motives. If we are sorry for what we have done, and have the honest desire to let God take us to better things, we believe we will be forgiven and will have learned our lesson. If we are not sorry, and our conduct continues to harm others, we are quite sure to drink. We are not theorizing. These are facts out of our experience. “

Alcoholics Anonymous, PG. 70

Today I am grateful I have a better idea of what ‘the chosen ideal’ is. Without this knowledge I’d be in denial.

Today I am grateful I have the humility to honestly admit when I have fallen short.

Today I am grateful that personal experience has proven these falls do not automatically lead to a relapse and that a lot will depend on my response.

Today I am grateful I do ask God, as I understand Him, for forgiveness, praying only for knowledge of His will and the power to carry it out. I do this on a daily basis.

Today I am grateful that I believe God has forgiven me each and every time and will continue to do so as long as there’s an honest desire on my behalf.

Today I am grateful that I do take these falls as an opportunity to learn, improve myself and equip myself for the future.

Today I am grateful I am under no illusion that if I am not sorry and I continue a conduct that will harm others, including myself, then a relapse is inevitable.

Today I am grateful I don’t have theorize! I don’t want to decide what’s right and what’s wrong. I’m no good at it anyway. The facts are there in clear view if I wish to see them.

Today I am grateful for those who share their own falls. If I truly listen without judgement, I can learn from them – I don’t have to go through the same terrifying experiences to prove it.

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Gratitude List 11/02/2019: Fear Less

Gratitude List 11/02/2019

I feel a case of deja-vu! I’m sure I’ve written about this before (even the title) but it’s something I’m very grateful for.

I really feel like I’m living a new life. A second chance. Two lifetimes in one. To most, my life on the outside would seem very much the same. How it feels on the inside though is completely different. One of the biggest differences is the fear. It’s not like fear doesn’t exist in my life now, but in comparison I feel as free as a bird!

Today I am grateful I’m in less fear when a company do a credit check on me.

Today I am grateful I’m not in fear when my bill due dates are up and coming.

Today I am grateful I fear much less speaking in public.

Today I am grateful I do not fear getting through the day. Today I am grateful I do not fear a relapse.

Today I am grateful I’m in less fear when my phone rings. I don’t have to have it on silent and face down anymore.

Today I am grateful I’m not in fear when I see post on our doorstep.

Today I am grateful I no longer fear being inadequate.

Today I am grateful I fear less being honest and open. A tough one as this fear was so ingrained. Definitely getting better though.

Today I am grateful I’m in less fear when it comes to letting someone down. I never intend to do so, but it is inevitable.

Today I am grateful I’m aware I still fear being late. The consequences are NEVER that bad. One I need to hand over again.

Today I am grateful I do not fear being caught.

Today I am very grateful I am not in fear about my future.