Gratitude List 12/02/2019: A new life part 2

Gratitude List 12/02/2019

Further to my list yesterday (Fear Less), another big difference between my old life and my new is the level of resentment I have to endure. Again, I am no saint, but when I see resentment in another’s eyes, because of my own experience I can feel their pain. I can feel their suffering, it’s crippling. I’m very grateful I am learning how to deal with resentments – both past and present.

Today I am grateful I no longer resent those who have caused me harm in the past. This was a heavy burden.

Today I am grateful I can better deal with resentments when they arise in my life.

Today I am grateful I rarely resent myself. This was a daily occasion.

Today I am grateful I no longer resent my past.

Today I am grateful I no longer resent the concept of higher powers, God, religion or spirituality.

Today I am grateful for the knowledge that I am the one who suffers if I hold a resentment.

Today I am grateful to know forgiveness is often the answer.


Gratitude List 10/02/2019: Waking a little low

Gratitude List 10/02/2019

Sometimes I wake up feeling a little low. Feeling like there’s something wrong. Am I in fear? Did I say something the night before, something I’m now regretting?

After a short while I reflect on my life, my day, my fears and my resentments. What I realise is there’s nothing wrong at all. My life is good, I have nothing to fear and I’m not suffering with an emotional hangover.

Maybe I awoke listening to Radio Me and all I needed to do was get on my knees and kick-start another day. Did I wake with the spiritual malady intact?

Whatever it is, I really don’t mind. Today I am grateful I am aware of who I am. I am aware that my life is good and I have a lot to be grateful for. I am aware that this is a daily program. I am aware if I don’t do the necessary suggestions then that spiritual malady can manifest throughout the day. Today I am grateful and aware of what I need to do to quickly turn my day around.

Gratitude List 03/02/2019: So proud

Gratitude List 03/02/2019

Something big happened today. In fact it happened a while ago but it came to light today. Something I knew was going to happen. It didn’t happened the way I had planned, but now it’s done, I believe it happened the way it was meant to.

Today I am grateful for a particular person. I am very proud of this person’s maturity and forgiveness.

Today I am grateful there was a relief for this person.

I am grateful I was in recovery for the last year.

Today I am grateful I am there for this person.

Today I am grateful I didn’t react with resentment towards another.

Today I am grateful I instead used consideration and understanding.

Today I am grateful I didn’t respond with desperate dishonesty.

Today I am grateful I instead humbly accepted the situation for what it was.

Today I am grateful I am in touch with my emotions. In particular love.

Today I am grateful that this program works!!!

Gratitude List 29/01/2019: My illness v Recovery

Gratitude List 29/01/2019

My illness v Recovery

A daily battle in my life. Today, the victor was ‘Recovery’. Let me share with you how.

I needed to be honest and tell someone something. My illness created a fear and projected the worse case scenario, as it always does. This led to procrastination which then allowed time for me to become agitated and uncomfortable. Before I knew it, my head was spinning with devious plans to escape.

Prior to working the recovery program, I would have had no answers. I would have continued to suffer in silence. I would have slipped into self-pity and self-resentment. These defects would have festered inside of me and evolved into intolerance and anger. Once boiling point was reached I would have gone about it in completely the wrong way, at the wrong time and hugely harmed this person in the process. I would have stormed off, arrogantly certain I was in the right. That was of course, until the emotional hangover slapped me round the face the following morning as I started to comprehend my actions. ‘What was I thinking?’ I began to ask myself.

Today I am grateful I did not react in this way. Recovery’s counter attack to this fear was to first take me to a meeting, practice unity and give back to the fellowship that saved my life. Once there, the option to chair the meeting was made available to me. Knowing how much selfless acts including service can help my recovery, I wasted no time in grasping this opportunity. Shared experiences reminded me of how far I’ve come and made me realise how small this fear is in comparison to the ones that used to dictate my life. Further service followed as I chose to share the message and not the mess. A suffering newcomer needed to hear it. Leaving the meeting inspired, motivated and spiritually connected I wasted no time in praying to my greater power to remove my fear and direct my attention to what He would have me be. Almost mantra style, I also humbly repeated the third and seventh step prayers. Each time I said them, I felt my serenity, courage and wisdom build up. By the time the conversation came around, I was calm, composed, confident and connected. It wasn’t all easy but the conversation couldn’t have gone better. I was able to remain patient, considerate, tolerant and be 100% honest. I didn’t harm myself and as far as I know, I didn’t harm the other person either. Afterwards, I honestly reflected on this and the rest of my day by doing a daily inventory, promptly admitting when I was wrong. More prayers followed including a sincere thanks to my greater power for my abstinence and recovery. Finally, this list and sleep. It really works if you work it. Sweet dreams all.