Gratitude List 27/03/2019: Self-love

Gratitude List 27/03/2019

Self-love – regard for one’s own well-being and happiness

Good morning all. Presently, I am looking after myself – mentally, physically and spiritually and it feels good. I say presently, because I know through a lifetime’s worth of experience how easily it can change. The difference today is I have some tools which I believe can prolong and also enhance this feeling of self-love.

Today I am grateful I am currently eating better. I’ve come to realise how much and how badly I eat in between meals and how insane my thinking can be around it all. Today is just my 9th day abstinent from snacking but I feel so much better for it. I am also aware of trying to fill my body with decent, nutritious food (and drink) that is good for me.

Today I am grateful I am growing spiritually. Whether it be through prayer and meditation, reading inspirational literature or the practicing of spiritual principles like honesty, kindness and love. By doing so I am filling my mind with peace, happiness, gratitude and serenity as well as improving my conscious contact with God as I understand Him.

Today I am grateful I have the willingness to learn. I want to learn something new, like a new language. I fully admit I haven’t properly started yet and it’s all words no action but at least the desire is there. What I am doing on a daily basis is remaining teachable. Life is a daily education and today I am open to learn from both the ups and the downs.

Today I am grateful I have started to exercise a little more. I am conscious of the need to remain active, even if its getting off my chair and walking around a bit, walking up the escalators or doing a bit of gardening. I’ve gone back to the gym but I need to get back for the second time before I lose momentum – I know what I’m like!

Today I am grateful I have started to look after my health by getting myself to the doctor when I need to. In the past I would surpress my fears and simply hope the pain or discomfort would go away. Today I am more willing to get the professional help I need. Next up, the dentist!

Today I am grateful I choose to look becomingly. Well, I wouldn’t say I took too much care at 5:30 this morning but I and my clothes are at the very least washed and clean. I still need to take the time to sort out my crazy hair but it’s a far cry from the dishevelled look I used to grace the world with!

Today I am grateful I am filling the voids of my day with positive action. No longer am I wasting time doing s**t (sorry couldn’t think of a more appropriate word) that does nothing for my personal growth. I have a busy life so these moments are precious to me.

Today I am grateful that if I was to dissect myself right now I’d like to think my body is predominantly full of goodness. Goodness in terms of my mentality, my physicality and my spirituality.

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Gratitude List 22/02/2019: Greater Powers

Gratitude List 22/02/2019

I hope this makes sense…. There’s a point in there somewhere…

Came to believe in power greater than myself. The second step in the program and one I used to stumble on.

Step one was far easier – admitting I was powerless over my addiction and that my life had become unmanageable. But by completing step one, hadn’t I already acknowledged a power greater than myself – my addiction? I’m not suggesting that anyone should hand their lives over to their compulsions, that’s what got me into trouble in the first place. But what of the polar opposite – recovery? In my own experience recovery has overpowered my addiction, it is stronger. Therefore the concept of ‘recovery’ can definitely be one of my greater powers. Recovery is a God of my own understanding. Like my addiction, recovery has given me experiences I never thought possible, so making a decision to turn my will over to the concept of ‘recovery’ is an easy choice and one I have faith in.

My addiction is but one of the many things I can struggle with. My life was unmanageable because of them. Each of them can overpower me if my spiritual connection is low. But today I am grateful for the fact that every negative has an opposite which is positive and even more powerful. I am therefore, surrounded by things that are more powerful than me.

Where there’s addiction there is recovery.

Where there is insanity there is sanity.

Where there is fear there is serenity.

Where there is isolation there is unity.

Where there is self there is selfless.

Where there is dishonesty there is sincerity.

Where there is arrogance there is humility.

Where there’s hate there is love.

Where there is a rock bottom there is hope.

Where there is death there is life.

I would happily get down on my knees and pray to any of them. And do it with a faith that help will come.

Gratitude List 07/02/2019: I am me, inside and out.

Gratitude List 07/02/2019

Today’s reflection of the day spoke of honesty. As a result I find myself reflecting on how honesty has come into my life.

My life prior to recovery overflowed with dishonesty. It infiltrated my thoughts, words, behaviours and actions. For me, having a days abstinence with regards to dishonesty is as big a miracle as a day off from my addiction.

Today I am grateful I am honest with myself. Accepting who I am, what I do, when I have power and when I need help.

Today I am grateful I no longer wear a different mask to suit different situations. I am me, inside and out.

Today I am grateful I am more honest with others. Through my thoughts, words, behaviours and actions.

Today I am grateful I do not fear being honest. I used to fear the consequences which were always much smaller than those resulting from dishonesty.

Today I am grateful I rarely answer ‘yes’ on my daily inventory when I ask myself if I’ve been dishonest. As I said, a day of honesty is a miracle for me.

Today I am grateful I don’t manipulate people anymore. No more do I twist and turn people’s emotions and decisions to get what I want.

Today I am grateful I can be honest with another with regards to how they made me feel (if that’s what God has guided me to do – to use courage instead of acceptance).

Today I am grateful, an honest life is much simpler.